Recent Comments

  • Deleted this
    by: Swedish coast - 3 weeks 3 days ago
       
    >>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent

  • Thanks C
    by: Swedish coast - 3 weeks 4 days ago
    Loneliness, oh yes. Haven't been out of a romantic relationship more than a few months since I was 18... It's foreign. But the thought of a partner is vaguely disgusting and also frightening. I couldn't trust anybody.  Today it's Sunday. I'll try to do as you say and relax. It might mean digging up the rain wet garden for flower beds and putting in some late tulip bulbs. I think physical and mental distractions play a big part in getting out of the shakiest patches. Couch is a fickle friend. It may just...
    >>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent

  • Cut yourself some slack...
    by: c ur self - 3 weeks 4 days ago
    I suggest you attempt to relax, and mimic the husband's life at times...There is absolutely nothing wrong with fun and terrible eating at times...The problem it can create is when there is no discipline of life to stop it from being or becoming the norm...Responsible living should be our priority, and we teach that to our children when we discipline away from those fun moments of frivolity back to the responsibilities life demands.... I can tell you, depressive and down moments come from loneliness...All...
    >>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent

  • The brain, and our tendencies based on function....
    by: c ur self - 3 weeks 4 days ago
    If we throw out (never use) human diagnosis, (which I'm slowly learning to do)...That leaves us with only the reality of each individual's brain function, along w/ their spirit man, and the tendencies that produces in them in day to day living (The visible)....The simplified life, that produces less wasted words, less misunderstandings, less excuses, and just frank reality!....No judgements, just the visible fruit of every individuals life...(The why's don't matter in a relationship, only the product)......
    >>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction

  • Thanks AG
    by: Swedish coast - 3 weeks 4 days ago
    I think the parenting part is the hardest. You're forced to balance your needs and resources with the needs of several other (dependent) people. And if some of them have ADD, you need to also be their executive backup. A dog is probably a good comparison - you are so very responsible for it's happiness and health.  I hope therapy will make a difference for you. Maybe I'll try it again too.  All the best to you.
    >>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent

  • I started seeing a therapist
    by: AG - 3 weeks 4 days ago
    I started seeing a therapist myself Swedish, recently.  I'm trying to focus on me- my thinking patterns and why they are the way they are.  I don't have kids, so I can't speak to that part.  I do have 2 cats and a small dog that (I feel / I think) creates a constant low level of tension in my life.  The dog has been gone a week bc construction going on at our house and it has been so peaceful to me.  My one cat is normal again.  Anyway maybe talking to someone /a third party person might help.  For me, it...
    >>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent

  • I think you're right J.  My
    by: AG - 3 weeks 4 days ago
    I think you're right J.  My husband would run several miles every morning to get him going for the day before he was diagnosed, did this a couple decades.  He was diagnosed after he stopped this routine.    I have witnessed the benefits of his exercise in helping his focus and "readiness" for the day.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction

  • Perfect Analogy / Conclusion
    by: J - 3 weeks 4 days ago
    I know I've told this story before, but I can relate it better now. This is definitely tied to my having ADHD before I was diagnosed.  When I was in school, I was doing two swim workouts a day at times, which meant, getting up at 5:45am and diving into a cold pool. Despite, having swum all my life, doing things like scuba diving and water sports of all kinds....I hate nothing more than getting into cold water. I think it's even a sensitivity of mine I hate it so much. I hate being sprayed by a hose or...
    >>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction

  • Relating this to ADHD Swedish
    by: J - 3 weeks 5 days ago
    I'm thinking and relating this to and ADHD brain that's always working overtime. It's busy up there all day long!  What feels good at times is a break from all that activity. If you think about brain waves and frequencies, the highest frequency is also the most alert and full concentration or Gamma waves. Down the list is Alpha and below that is Thera waves. As I understand it, Theta waves happen when your still  asleep and when you first wake up. This is that time when your brain is just turning on and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction

  • C this is directly related to ...
    by: J - 3 weeks 6 days ago
    that thing I was trying to explain when talking about homeostasis and motivation and how medication changes that. I want to finish my train of thought below, only to say, there is a reason for this delay in my day before doing things. It's been a lifelong pattern but it has to do with my comment about pressure. Pressure is that "thing" I was trying to explain. The resistance I'm feeling to doing something like chores is real. Why? It's just an ADHD thing. But something has to counter the resistance that's...
    >>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction

  • Recreation
    by: Swedish coast - 3 weeks 6 days ago
    I think C has a great point. You could agree to arrange your Sunday so that you can both enjoy it, but separately before noon. There is no right or wrong when it comes to recreational time. I read this interesting book a while ago about recreation. I was wondering how to relax since it's been so hard. Not doing anything just drives me up the wall. The book said it's not an activity itself that is recreational, but the lack of purpose when you do it. Inefficiency is the point. You just gave a perfect...
    >>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction

  • She will see
    by: Swedish coast - 3 weeks 6 days ago
    I believe she will see what you've done for her when she no longer has you. Like my ex husband, she might not have a full understanding just of how much you do, and that the comforts she's been used to have little to do with who she is. It would be easier to deal with someone who took advantage of one out of greed with an understanding. But the mind that has so poor self perception it doesn't know what its doing, cannot really be handled in any meaningful way except as you and I have - indulged, then sent...
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • It doesn't matter who's fault it is when you're dead
    by: J - 3 weeks 6 days ago
    The most profound statement my father ever made.  He said it in context to me, getting hit by a car, who ran a red light ( in my early 20's ) while driving his car and he was mad, and I was defending myself by saying: "but I had the right of way !!".....and he said the statement above. There's so many things I can say about this moment that relates to me having ADHD, being criticized, getting defensive, RSD, and the relationship between my dad and I,  it could fill a book.  Only to say...this was a normal...
    >>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction

  • This a perfectly relatable truth for many differing mind types
    by: c ur self - 3 weeks 6 days ago
    J, many of us who read this documented dynamic understand it completely....All I will say is; that we will either allow it to become a wedge that produce's conflict (placing expectations for life to revolve around our wants and demands for others, as measured out by our own justified mental thought processes...(knee jerk and most common) Or we will recognize difference's and accept them fully even if they mean boundaries...(least common, and usually only adapted after much conflict) We all have a right to...
    >>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction

  • Hi Jenna!
    by: c ur self - 3 weeks 6 days ago
    Hello friend!....Love C S Lewis...He has such a unique perspective on life and eternal life....I hope you are well dear lady!.... c
    >>> on Forum topic - Haven't been able to put into words

  • No, she is still here...But there is hope now.....
    by: c ur self - 3 weeks 6 days ago
    She refused to even acknowledge the divorce papers for a month or so....(She lives in a mind that want touch what she can't control)...Last week I asked her again, she mumbled something and walked away again...I knew in my heart it was about money!....So I offered her 20,K, to sign it...She demanded 30,K...So I said No, and walk away telling her the 20K offer was only good for a week...So after thinking it over I realized that I wanted her to have every opportunity (only good things) in life...(I can't...
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • C
    by: Swedish coast - 4 weeks 8 hours ago
    Yes, your texts resonate with me too since that deep and honest love is so relatable. Hoping for reconciliation is something I've done unawares. I'm surprised at it, I decided a year ago that nobody who treats me like this will ever enter my home again, let alone be forgiven and taken back. Dear C, is she moving out yet?     
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • Man that really sums it up
    by: Off the roller ... - 4 weeks 8 hours ago
    I'm so grateful for you and your way to communicate something in my heart that I don't have thr tools to communicate. 
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • Brilliant but also…
    by: Swedish coast - 4 weeks 9 hours ago
    Thank you. Now I've listened to it.  The ABC way of dealing with conflict in a relationship (Apologize and ask open-ended questions, Back off from criticizing and let your partner be who they are, Compliment and model desired change in your loved one) is probably very helpful. Along with daring to face incompatibility and break up instead of wasting time in incompatibility. What the podcast doesn't cover is decreasing executive functioning in your partner. If you had a beautiful relationship to start...
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • Swedish Coast....
    by: c ur self - 4 weeks 12 hours ago
    I kind of felt like this is where you were...I'm an HSP, who loves deeply...I feel you!...I'm going to be praying for you to feel better, so sorry you aren't well...Attachment is hard to break...Even when it's been or felt one sided, dysfunctional or unhealthy... (((hugs))) c....
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

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