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by: Off the roller ... -
https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-239 Just disclosure, I haven't finished it. It's a hard listen.>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Swedish coast -
Couldn't find that one?>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Off the roller ... -
There's another one just before that one about long term relationships and it was very good.>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Swedish coast -
Thank you AG, I just listened to the Mel Robbin's 'To anyone going through a breakup' podcast. It says many things about letting your old partner disappear, and not reaching out, which makes perfect sense to me. It also says 71% of people feel better in 3 months. I've been in the other 29% though. The most enlightening point was that you're not free until you can let go of the fantasy of getting back together. I realize I must have this fantasy still. I saw him briefly the other day (for the first time...>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Swedish coast -
Yes you're right, it's turning things around for myself I referred to. Him I've given up on. I think now I'm just in a grieving phase for the hopes and ambitions and also good times of the marriage. In my country the winter is very dark, and now's the darkest. I've been ill for five weeks and have caught a new cold today. So most things that regularly thrill me are out of reach at the moment. But there's lots: nature, long walks, hiking, swimming, gardening, painting, yoga, seeing friends, playing the...>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: c ur self -
Sex (intimacy) between men and women will always open up hurt and pain when the purity of the Creator's purpose for it is defiled my our minds....Attempting to understand what each others carnal minds are willing to justify, just becomes a smorgasbord of pain and emotional dysfunction...All the things you are feeling are true to your nature as a man, just like her's would be if you were the one openly professing these same acts of marital betrayal.....>>> on Forum topic - ADHD in both partners one undiagnosed
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by: AG -
I know someone mentioned Mel Robbins podcast before and swedish coast she is doing some work / talks on relationships and break ups. These were good to listen to, but also things you necessarily don't want to listen to. Swedish- I pick up on your hurt. And I can understand how you feel when you say it's harder that he still shows signs of caring and it would be better if he just "forgot" about you. Mel talks about processing your grief from the end of your relationship as it was ...and then...>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Off the roller ... -
Hey Swedish, I logged on just to come on here and say how frustrating (moreso than just the normal frustration!) that must be to hear that. It is devastating and I can understand it so well bc I have been a recipient of that devastation too. I also wondering what you meant by turning things around? For yourself, I hope? I don't have a magic wand of course (or I'd defintely wave it your way for sure) but I'm in intensive therapy right now and my realisation is that while I thought it was triage for my...>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: ADHD1488 -
It was that fact that my wife has been talking to this person aswell which I found out the day before, I have no problem with her fantasying if it's just that but she acted on it is the problem. My wife has never had a problem having an orgasm with me and even saying my name when at climax so I don't think their is a problem with that. She has said that I'm emotionally and intimately the best she's had. I know she's not lying because her ADHD or autism doesn't allow her to lie even white lies that's why...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD in both partners one undiagnosed
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by: J -
"Then she woke up just before I was leaving for work today and cuddled me again as I slept on the sofa last night, but I felt disgusted at the though that she may have masterbate over him last night then down here cuddling me before work." I'm not a an expert on this subject, nor, do I pretend to be but, as I read this last sentence a few things came to mind. I have come to my own personal thoughts on matters like these which I don't assume are shared by everyone. Having said that, I have a few questions...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD in both partners one undiagnosed
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by: c ur self -
Real love is easy....It's two people fully respectful of one another, sharing faithfully, lovingly, and honorably in this life together...Demand for yourself a healthy environment, if that mean's alone, then so be it....There is never a good reason to allow ourselves to be used and manipulated, because we make someone else's life easy!....That is mental and emotional abuse....I don't mean not do the right thing for children....But children must have safe environments, so the adults must be safe people, w/...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD in both partners one undiagnosed
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by: c ur self -
It's control, and the refusal to accept the reality of others (No matter how screwed up those realities are)....Much of my suffering (as is your's at this point in time) has been my demand to make it better! Until you (as I had to) STOP attempting to fix or worry about things out of your control, you will never take a calm hold on your own life....Never feel like you must respond or address things that aren't respectful or fruitful...When adults demand to live out things we would never mimic or touch...We...>>> on Forum topic - Struggling with co-dependancy
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by: ADHD1488 -
I have found out that she started talking to the person she was fantasying over 2 days before we separated and turns out she has done this with him before many years ago before we met. She is telling me he lives in another country and what she is doing isn’t wrong. She’s acted on a fantasy weather he’s in another country or not. I feel like she doesn’t want me but doesn’t want me to leave so she doesn’t have to look after the kids on her own etc. I have had this in the pass but because she has told me...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD in both partners one undiagnosed
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by: J -
"Making what you're doing fit the piece, not, trying to fit the piece to what you're doing" This may sound like an obscure post about football, but it's much more than that. This post is about a universal truth....a secret of the universe...about how God works. When you do things in alignment with universe, things always seem to work. When you don't, things don't work as well and its an uphill battle. Last night, the University of Oregon Ducks football team played the culmination of their season this...>>> on Forum topic - Intention and Consistency
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by: CookieCutter -
I don't have much to add other than to say I am so sorry. Only been married 5 years, and no kids, but you sound a lot like my wife. If it is any consolation, your husband knows how much you are suffering and feels terrible I am sure, but this is an uphill battle for him too. Has he read Melissa's book?>>> on Forum topic - Struggling
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by: Squirrel72 -
I just joined this group, so late to respond, but I completely understand how you feel. My wife has ADHD and I struggle to not be the parent and not be chronically angry at all the unfinished or neglected things around the house. I also have an ADHD young son, and my wife and him love to argue and see who can get the last word, which doesn't make for a calm household. After 13 years of marriage I'm exhausted dealing with ADHD, but trying to work through it and stay together. I love her, but living with her...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD spouse venting
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by: Swedish coast -
I don't know what your mother said in the voicemail, but I know how it is to have a very difficult situation with a spouse while extended family expects you to take every initiative with them too. I've had serious disruption in my family of origin parallel to the decline of my ADD husband's mental health and the marriage. I wish I'd known the following: 1) No, family doesn't grasp the misery of your marriage. No they aren't very interested in learning about it. No they don't see you need support. No they...>>> on Forum topic - Struggling with co-dependancy
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by: J -
That's the light touch. In my work, the ones who "need work", we call them heavy handed. I always tell people that if you're having to use a lot of muscle, you're usually doing something wrong. Finesse comes from making what you're doing fit the piece...not trying to fit the piece to what you're doing.>>> on Forum topic - Intention and Consistency
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by: c ur self -
Negativity is a diease, it creates bitterness...So yes, by all mean's rejoice over self awareness, and self discipline by both parties...We understand that many of our successes can be temporary...But, these moments are critical to hope and well being....They also teach where boundaries are needed when things breakdown...>>> on Forum topic - Is it normal
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by: Swedish coast -
I happen to be deeply interested in art and creative processes. It's funny, but most art I appreciate, is made with a very light touch. The artist has made themselves a vessel, allowing something to happen beyond their control. I don't know if this applies to other things. But as C says, we might try so hard to be that better version of ourselves. It's difficult and painful to be less than you wanted. I imagine the determined work might not always help us achieve perfection. Instead, at the times I've...>>> on Forum topic - Intention and Consistency
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Popular Forum Posts
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- Infidelity
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- Energy drain
- Absolutely no sympathy from husband when I'm sick! In fact, it seems to be my fault!
- Progress but hope-less with young family
- I have OCD and he has ADHD
- Just getting started
- Infidelity
- Anger management course/book recommendations
- Finally Divorcing My ADHD Husband
- Absolutely no sympathy from husband when I'm sick! In fact, it seems to be my fault!
- Being Objective and Identifying the Battle