Recent Comments

  • Burnout
    by: J - 1 week 2 days ago
    Can also cause these symptoms.  I'm experiencing burnout currently from the Christmas season and I'm recognizing the symptoms. Being on antidepressants and amphetamine can also mask the symptoms as well. Not taking my meds yesterday morning caused me to crash, and feeling the brunt of what lies underneath.  Causes: Unmanageable workloads Unfair treatment at work Confusing work responsibilities Lack of communication or support from managers Immense deadline pressure Too much work, not enough time to rest...
    >>> on Forum topic - Energy drain

  • No you’re not crazy
    by: Swedish coast - 1 week 3 days ago
    This is exactly what I've felt too The ADD lack of initiative, the depression and anxiety all resulted in me feeling I needed to do something, or else all of our family's lives would be wasted. This constant pull at my nervous system never allowed any relaxation. Hence exhaustion.
    >>> on Forum topic - Energy drain

  • Suppressing Emotions
    by: J - 1 week 3 days ago
    Not being able to communicate your needs or emotions to someone who either: doesn't want to hear it, doesn't care, or just stops the conversation before it gets very far ( or it starts a conflict if you do ) will make me feel this way. If you can't express it, it has to go somewhere?
    >>> on Forum topic - Energy drain

  • Great Personal Examples
    by: a look into the... - 1 week 3 days ago
    Thank you, J. Your personal examples are very helpful. You sound like an expert backpacker and have found many of your own tricks, especially regarding your wallet and keys, that provide great perspective. Thanks again!
    >>> on Forum topic - Just getting started

  • Learning from My Mistakes
    by: J - 1 week 3 days ago
    Hi a look into the, I didn't think I'd have any help to offer not having kids myself, but I realized, growing up having ADHD,  and no one in my family knowing either, my mom did a lot of things right and wrong raising me, simply from not knowing what to do? If I could go back and tell her now, for me specifically, there's a number of things I could say. This might give you some ideas especially with what works. I was thinking about myself in terms of the messy room, not finding things and the almost...
    >>> on Forum topic - Just getting started

  • Hi , nice to meet you and
    by: paulabeeee - 1 week 3 days ago
    Hi , nice to meet you and thanks for sharing. I found this site about a year ago and it has helped a lot.
    >>> on Forum topic - Just getting started

  • Good days
    by: paulabeeee - 1 week 3 days ago
    That's a very good idea! Every bit of encouragement helps.     Paulabeeee  
    >>> on Forum topic - Is it normal

  • I'm Really Sorry
    by: J - 1 week 4 days ago
    That you have to deal with this Swedish, I can deeply empathize with the pain. And thank you for putting this into perspectictive: prioritizing.  That helps a little to simply identify the problem. And you're absolutely right. The second anniversary ( no card ) I knew exactly why when it happened.  She was so immersed in her painting ( and buying products ) it was the only thing on her mind at the time. That was more obvious than letting others decide what her day will be. As I recall, her sister was...
    >>> on Forum topic - Being Objective and Identifying the Battle

  • Her priorities are off
    by: Swedish coast - 1 week 4 days ago
    The anniversary story tells me your SO has no ability to prioritize. She's caught in the moment and lets others (like her sister) decide what her day will be like. This sucks. I have this with several people around me. We're mostly ok. But then there's a special occasion. You've made an effort. You've planned something. You focus. And then their disability to prioritize hits you hard.  Like you, I'm used to this. I don't take any of it personally anymore. Of course it's insulting. Of course it tells you...
    >>> on Forum topic - Being Objective and Identifying the Battle

  • Makes Me Feel Unimportant, Swedish
    by: J - 1 week 4 days ago
    This is probably the biggest reason that I've been upset or have gotten angry which seems to be a running theme. Being devalued and left feeling unimportant.  I said this directly to my SO in another one of the few times I've been really angry. It was our one year anniversary together and we had plans for dinner. I was looking forward to it and excited.  I come home with less than a 1/2 hour to leave and she's asleep on the couch...not dressed.  I wake her up and she's groggy from going out shopping with...
    >>> on Forum topic - Being Objective and Identifying the Battle

  • You’re welcome!
    by: Swedish coast - 1 week 4 days ago
    I'm glad you feel you're among friends.
    >>> on Forum topic - Just getting started

  • Your input and experience is highly valued
    by: a look into the... - 1 week 4 days ago
    Thank you so much Swedish Coast. What you said about understanding that success is more than reaching potential and your children's verbal talent never matching their talent or lack thereof with executive functions is definitely a paradigm shift that I need to work on. I'm not looking to dwell on excuses and really do agree with you. I wish it were simpler where I live that I can only assume is a tiny part of the problem... i.e. a large urban coastal city of nearly half a million people in Los Angeles...
    >>> on Forum topic - Just getting started

  • To look at them fail
    by: Swedish coast - 1 week 4 days ago
    I'm with you. It's painful to see your children fail. Almost unbearable. And if you're resourceful - as I see you are - it's not easy to sit on your hands and let them slam into their disappointments. What my child's evaluation psychologist told us parents was that we should avoid settings where our child would fail. It was better, she said, to choose the less competitive route through education and extracurriculars. Succeeding was more important than reaching potential. I think that advice was sound. It'...
    >>> on Forum topic - Just getting started

  • Agree
    by: a look into the... - 1 week 5 days ago
    I am a text book case of trying to fix things. As a mother I think there is a degree of parenting that looks like fixing when children are young. I have tried, perhaps not successfully, to let natural consequences occur but definitely fell victim similar to all the other entitled parents in my community who struggle to see their children fail (regardless of ADHD or not). Obviously I know this is a recipe for disaster as any human being matures, and am now realizing that for a person with ADHD it's even...
    >>> on Forum topic - Just getting started

  • Independence
    by: Swedish coast - 1 week 5 days ago
    Some of my closest relatives have a great need for independence. They can't be asked to sync with others in time or space in advance, they dislike planning and they articulate it's very important everybody does exactly what they want in every moment. They seem to want to crawl out of their skins rather than be caught in others' expectations.  To me this simply doesn't seem relationship-oriented. They are all single, and I understand why. In a family, someone is almost always waiting for you, hoping to...
    >>> on Forum topic - Being Objective and Identifying the Battle

  • Thank You C !!
    by: J - 1 week 5 days ago
    You hit the nail on the head!!  This explains so much. As I said earlier, I trust my SO in some ways but not others. She's actually a very responsible person in almost every way imaginable. We actually work well as a team and interdependenty in that way quite well....logistically speaking. This sounds like quite a stark contrast to your soon to be ex. She pays bills on time, she's not late for work. She's disciplined in her work habits when working from home. Held her job for over 17 years....By all...
    >>> on Forum topic - Being Objective and Identifying the Battle

  • Fixing
    by: Swedish coast - 1 week 5 days ago
    C, you're right that we cannot fix somebody else. On the other hand, is it right to instead spend oneself fixing the effects of their neglect? My problem with ADD is mainly that it has left me as non-ADD parent with such a load, while also bereaving our family of community. Giving the children what I wanted for them culturally, educationally and materially though their father was always passive, depressed, anxious and defensive, has been the most heartbreaking task I've ever had. I'm also convinced had...
    >>> on Forum topic - Just getting started

  • hello and welcome....
    by: c ur self - 1 week 5 days ago
    Those of us who live w/ minds (spouse's and children) that work differently from our own, have to ask ourselves some questions...Am I keeping the main things first in my life? (love and acceptance of my family and my own self care)....If I need boundaries placed on myself (emotions, not attempting to think for others, not attempting to force my will on people who for the most part I can't really comprehend, and make it clear they are fine being who they are) have I done that, and am I honoring them? You...
    >>> on Forum topic - Just getting started

  • suggestions....
    by: c ur self - 1 week 5 days ago
    If he wasn't having these issues before your marriage, you need to look into why now!....You will need a respected third party or counselor to help navigate the sensitive subjects...The worst thing in my opinion is to use labels, (adhd)...Label's can have many effects, and they are all negative to a healthy marriage....I suggest you stick to acceptable and respectful behaviors toward each other, from the both of you...(Because the results are always the same....Use kind words, respect and acceptance...The...
    >>> on Forum topic - Anger management course/book recommendations

  • The black hole of me and I.....
    by: c ur self - 1 week 5 days ago
    One of the first things our counselor recognized with us, (12 years ago) and talked about was:  independence vs Interdependence...You can be single and be Independent...But the product of attempting that Independence within a manogamous relationship, only sets in order a whole list of sensitive subjects...(eggshells) "He hurt my feelings,"  "She uncaringly disrespected me" And on and on...Our dependency needs to be Intertwined....Two being one flesh...If I, or she, demands or even desires independence in...
    >>> on Forum topic - Being Objective and Identifying the Battle

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