Melissa's "Psychology Today" blog

Should women take over all responsibility for planning dates when a partner's ADHD gets in the way?

The symptoms of ADHD result in behaviors that may strike at the heart of healthy relationships. Couples who understand the tension between symptoms and expectations will be more equipped to unravel the problems between them.

Struggling partners can get so caught up on the importance of communicating their most heartfelt feelings that they forget that good communication is both about what you say and how (and when) you say it.

As adults with ADHD struggle to stay organized and complete tasks, their non-ADHD partners tend to overcompensate and take on too much. This leads to an unhealthy imbalance of power between partners and typically destroys intimacy. Fixing the issue takes time, but a first step can be to better coordinate chores. Here's how to do it when ADHD is present.

Do you worry that your ADHD partner seems more like another child than a partner? Or do you feel as if your partner is constantly nagging or reminding you to get things done? You may be suffering from a common power imbalance in ADHD-impacted relationships—'parent/child dynamics.'

Those without it tend to underestimate the overwhelming nature of the experience of having ADHD. These first person accounts provide eye-opening insight.

Paul Simon may sing about ways to leave your lover, but what about ways to stay with him or her? Here are 50 immediately usable tactics that help couples impacted by ADHD strengthen their relationship.

It's easy to blame adult ADHD for the higher rates of dysfunction and divorce couples with one or more ADHD partners experience. But ADHD is very treatable. Lack of diagnosis and denial are the real culprits.

Being 'someone you like' comes with some very real advantages, particularly if you are trying to repair a struggling relationship.

Flipping off your spouse or screaming and yelling are not what loving relationships are supposed to be about. These relationship basics remind couples where they need to focus to get back on track.

Spouses tell what they love about their ADHD partners, highlighting some important positive ADHD traits. Remembering the good while highlighting the effectiveness of ADHD treatment can give struggling couples something to strive for.

It can be lonely when your partner is engulfed in work and has little time for you. These strategies can help you remain happy, healthy and (with a bit of effort from your partner) connected.

Tired of feeling as if your partner isn't tuned in to your emotional needs? It may be easy to overcome this issue once you better understand an ADHD characteristic that could be impacting you both.

Without realizing it partners can easily fall into behaviors that undermine the health of their relationship. Ask yourself: am I engaging in any of these six relationship busters?

Some ways are better than others when it comes to improving focus and managing the everyday overwhelm of their ADHD. Here's one strategy - creating a "recalibration" routine.

People who have ADHD are confronted by media articles or other people who think that ADHD is just an excuse - a case of having too much to do "just like everyone else," or being lazy in a busy world. Research shows those naysayers are dead wrong.

People who have ADHD are confronted by media articles or other people who think that ADHD is just an excuse - a case of having too much to do "just like everyone else," or being lazy in a busy world. Research shows those naysayers are dead wrong.

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Couples in ADHD-impacted relationships need not suffer in sexless marriages.

Do you see your ADHD partner or your child's inability to finish what he started as a sign of laziness or selfishness?

Ritalin and other stimulant medications used to treat ADHD continue to be a political football, a hot-button issue in which parents are asked to be either "for" them or "against" them. In this interview ADHD expert, Dr. Edward Hallowell, provides important insight into the role stimulants should—and should not—play in treatment.