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by: adhd32 -
I could not live with delinquent bills and kids left outside waiting to be picked up in 10 degree weather so i did it all myself. I lived as though I was a single parent with all the responsibilities. The frustration of being disappointed and not being able to express it due to rsd meltdown is worse to me than captaining the ship. Personally the fallout of undone tasks is worse because the issue devolves into a dumpster fire when all could be avoided. It's not a surprise that the electric bill comes...>>> on Forum topic - Avoiding parent/child but important things are missed...
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by: exhaustedme -
Thank you J. I am particularly appreciative that you answer because i believe it is better when the individual who is late consistently is the one that takes the responsibility to take the small, easy step. We all know how demeaning it is to follow a parent/child relationship. The problem might be that he does not think this is a problem. So from my side, I will kindly explain why him being late breaks my plans and ask him to put an alarm. I am hoping this will work. I am aware this is a small...>>> on Forum topic - being on time
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by: J -
I have ADHD and manage to be on time now. It's the KISS principle again ( keep it simple stupid ). When I use to wear a watch. I set it 10 minutes early. If I need to be somewhere on time, I leave ( or plan my exit ) 10 or 15 minutes early. I leave early, to be on time. And usually, I'm JUST or right on time. I get ready early, to be on time. Predict failure, act accordingly. That's it.>>> on Forum topic - being on time
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by: Swedish coast -
Now I texted to my ex a suggestion that he might either A) communicate with me about children only or B) if he wishes to improve our relationship, make an appointment with the couple’s therapist. He texts occasional personal things, like birthday greetings, to me. It’s meant to be friendly I think, but it just hurts and I cry. Conventional greetings are not really appropriate when communication has gone down an abyss together with respect and trust a year ago, and nothing has...>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: J -
Out of curiosity, I looked up : the effect on a child, later in life, from being subjected to helicopter parenting. ( disorders and issues ) Answer: Developing problems with Anxiety and Depression later in life. My mom and I both, have/had issues with Anxiety and Depression. My mom especially, was a very anxious, anxiety ridden person. High strung....startled easily and became easily alarmed. ( too the extreme ). Pretty sure she was also OCD with possibly other anxiety disorders....>>> on Forum topic - Long Time Coming
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by: Swedish coast -
I'm so sad today about this senseless waste of life. I never could see the whole picture until after divorce. Then it all showed itself, the slow loss of everything I cared about during the ADHD marriage. The people. The dreams and hopes. My confidence. I feel life has been ruined. There's a new year coming but I have no anticipation. Why did we subject ourselves to this for so long..?>>> on Forum topic - Energy drain
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by: c ur self -
I watched her play her life away, w/ no concern for how she left any room in the house, Eat, play, TV, little to no thought of what she left in her wake, for the family to deal with..(Me), and no thought of my needs.....I was in shock most of the time....Anxiety and Stress has been my closest companions....>>> on Forum topic - Energy drain
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by: c ur self -
Here's the thing about generous, loving and fun human beings....They starve to death right along w/ anyone who depends on them...It is so easy to fall into the trap of loving someone who isn't responsible...And then you end up carrying them, doing double work and burning out while your health declines.... Who wants to work when we could play?...That's a child's mindset...Expect him to be a responsible adult, husband and Father...To work faithfully and take care of HIS responsibilities....Place boundaries...>>> on Forum topic - Progress but hope-less with young family
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by: Swedish coast -
C, I agree from my experience at least. Anxiety from feeling helpless and still responsible for everything...>>> on Forum topic - Energy drain
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by: c ur self -
Do you think it could be anxiety?....From day one, there was always a lack of connection w/us, which sponsored an uneasiness in me...I could never relax, everything in me had to be flowing out to her...With little to nothing flowing back...I was focused on (hyper) while we dated, and maybe six month after the vows...It's been mentally and emotionally draining... c>>> on Forum topic - Energy drain
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by: Swedish coast -
I'm sorry you feel this way today.>>> on Forum topic - Energy drain
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by: J -
Can also cause these symptoms. I'm experiencing burnout currently from the Christmas season and I'm recognizing the symptoms. Being on antidepressants and amphetamine can also mask the symptoms as well. Not taking my meds yesterday morning caused me to crash, and feeling the brunt of what lies underneath. Causes: Unmanageable workloads Unfair treatment at work Confusing work responsibilities Lack of communication or support from managers Immense deadline pressure Too much work, not enough time to rest...>>> on Forum topic - Energy drain
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by: Swedish coast -
This is exactly what I've felt too The ADD lack of initiative, the depression and anxiety all resulted in me feeling I needed to do something, or else all of our family's lives would be wasted. This constant pull at my nervous system never allowed any relaxation. Hence exhaustion.>>> on Forum topic - Energy drain
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by: J -
Not being able to communicate your needs or emotions to someone who either: doesn't want to hear it, doesn't care, or just stops the conversation before it gets very far ( or it starts a conflict if you do ) will make me feel this way. If you can't express it, it has to go somewhere?>>> on Forum topic - Energy drain
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by: a look into the... -
Thank you, J. Your personal examples are very helpful. You sound like an expert backpacker and have found many of your own tricks, especially regarding your wallet and keys, that provide great perspective. Thanks again!>>> on Forum topic - Just getting started
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by: J -
Hi a look into the, I didn't think I'd have any help to offer not having kids myself, but I realized, growing up having ADHD, and no one in my family knowing either, my mom did a lot of things right and wrong raising me, simply from not knowing what to do? If I could go back and tell her now, for me specifically, there's a number of things I could say. This might give you some ideas especially with what works. I was thinking about myself in terms of the messy room, not finding things and the almost...>>> on Forum topic - Just getting started
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by: paulabeeee -
Hi , nice to meet you and thanks for sharing. I found this site about a year ago and it has helped a lot.>>> on Forum topic - Just getting started
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by: paulabeeee -
That's a very good idea! Every bit of encouragement helps. Paulabeeee>>> on Forum topic - Is it normal
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by: J -
That you have to deal with this Swedish, I can deeply empathize with the pain. And thank you for putting this into perspectictive: prioritizing. That helps a little to simply identify the problem. And you're absolutely right. The second anniversary ( no card ) I knew exactly why when it happened. She was so immersed in her painting ( and buying products ) it was the only thing on her mind at the time. That was more obvious than letting others decide what her day will be. As I recall, her sister was...>>> on Forum topic - Being Objective and Identifying the Battle
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by: Swedish coast -
The anniversary story tells me your SO has no ability to prioritize. She's caught in the moment and lets others (like her sister) decide what her day will be like. This sucks. I have this with several people around me. We're mostly ok. But then there's a special occasion. You've made an effort. You've planned something. You focus. And then their disability to prioritize hits you hard. Like you, I'm used to this. I don't take any of it personally anymore. Of course it's insulting. Of course it tells you...>>> on Forum topic - Being Objective and Identifying the Battle
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