Recent forum posts (all topics)

Husband undiagnosed, 14 yr old daughter w/ adhd HELP!

My husband and I have been together since 2003.  We have had a really tough road to hoe, but I am so thankful I stuck it out and gave him unconditional love.  I have two daughters from a previous marriage and he loves them as his own but it has been extremely hard to cope with the relationship issues.  I knew in the beginning that he had anger issues and was "flighty" and had a, shall we call it, honesty problem.  He is also very impulsive and has put us in financial difficulty over and above the norm because of this.  Writing this makes me wonder how we are still together.  I fell head ove

The Snowball Effect

I have been with my husband for 25 years.  In that time we have had a very volitile relationship.  I have spent some time reading other members frustrations and there is one pattern that I am seeing.  The partners of ADD feel extremely helpless and defeated.  I keep reading about out of control finances and households and I am also hearing replies that state "what are you doing to help this".  The fact of the matter is that many of us feel damned if we do and damned if we don't.  On one hand we are told to set boudaries and have expectations from our Spouses and on the other hand we are tol

I can't seem to communicate

I am looking for advice or effective mental tools to help with communication. I was originally diagnosed with ADD in early elementary school. For a short period of time I was medicated and eventually was taken off. From there I met regularly with psychologists to monitor my progress. I was the kid you that had a desk, not in the classroom, but outside the principal’s office because that is where I spent most of my time.

Waiting, waiting, how do you handle the waiting?

This is the second time I have posted on this site but last time, not really knowing how to do this, it ended up in a strange place in the midst of a thread and probably went unnoticed. I am married to my husband of 21 years who was recently diagnosed with adult ADHD. The background to our story is in my other post under Finances and ADD.

Believing that ADD is real

I am a middle-aged adult woman, diagnosed and medicated for moderate ADD the last 10 years.  My teen daughter is also blessed with this gift and her response to medication has been much more obvious.  My very focused and productive husband has adapted to life with an organizationally-challenged but well-intentioned wife.  I don't feel ADD is part of how I define myself, but I'm currently unemployed, which often accentuates my ADD tendancies.  This is creating stress in my family, and recently my husband suggested that I blame ADD as an excuse.  Even my physician sister questions the validit

A bottomless pit

I am having a hard time "channeling" my frustration and fears. My husband has untreated ADHD. Since I have found this site I read a lot about ADHD, I feel informed but not helped. During our last fight I compaired my husband to a bottomless pit. The last couple of months, every night, he talked about wanting to go on holiday this summer. When I finally booked the trip I thought that would be the end of his repetitive dialogue about him needing a holiday. It lasted one night. The next day he started obsessing about NEXT year's vacation.

“Still crazy after all these years?” No, it was just misdiagnosed and untreated ADHD times two.

So here we are a 62 year old male and a 54 year old female. Clean and sober for 24 years, married for 23 years.  Both “abused” by the mental health system being misdiagnosed with everything from intermittent explosive disorder to borderline personality disorder and most everything else  in-between.

Three months of treatment /medication for ADHD and we are feeling and acting like completely different people. 

We know how to be married with untreated ADHD.   How do treated ADHD people do it?

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