Recent forum posts (all topics)

Does anyone else struggle to get their ADHD partner to celebrate them?

Mine has an aversion to gifts or doing anything nice for me. It's starting to ware on me after being together for so long (18 years of this!) I've really tried to adapt to his ways - but why can't he adapt to mine? I come from a family that celebrates birthdays - people have given me surprise parties in the past - I've given him parties even - I love to give gifts - to celebrate people!

On Sunday, we spent the morning visiting a Holocaust museum (an event organized by the synagogue.)  When that was over, my wife leaves to see a musical that one of her friends is in. While she was gone, I 

I've been married to a man with ADD for almost 40 years. You'd think by now we'd have got it together, but it never ends. I love him, he loves me. Years ago I thought that love, empathy and awareness coupled with some outside help would conquer all but, of course, I was wrong. For one thing, there's been no outside help. He won't do it.

How do you heal the pain and stop the intrusive thoughts... I have the understanding of what led to the affair, forgiveness and relationship repaired, but I still can't get rid of the pain and the thoughts... I just want to get rid of the pain and stop thinking about it.

Hi People--new to forum! I am looking to form an accountability group to go through an ADHD executive function workbook. Specifically--I'd love to work with women in the Baltimore area. Anyone up for it? Or does anyone know of an ADHD women support group in Baltimore that I can get hooked up with?

thanks!

Sarah

Lately, I'm beginning to see an abject "loser" mentality in my ADHD partner. As if all that life is, is a series of losses. And every mistake, failure, mishap in the past, is dictating his future. He is convinced he is doomed 60-70% of the days I've been with him. And I am so. exhausted. of his mentality. Where everything apparently sucks, is disappointing, is underwhelming and not good enough. It makes me feel like nothing, nothing at all, will make him happy, joyful, positive or hopeful. And if it does, it will last 30 seconds. And then disappear into thin air.

Tonight we were talking about politics for an hour laying in bed and from time to time he had outburst of energy he was laying down relaxed then sitting up with excitement and big eyes, we could be talking about a single topic and he ends up on a different one then zones out, I reminded him to try to lay down with me while we were talking and he did his best, after we were done talking he asked if we could do research and I felt overwhelmed, I felt extremely drained after trying to keep up through the conversation and Bringing him back to the topic every single time he railed off, I’ve had

After experiencing my own mind's workings...And watching my wife's mind work out it's reality, (Along with all the years of study and sharing with others in life, and here for the past nearly 8 years) I have no problem accepting the great strain that does manifest when two people try to relate and come together in a unified state...(Healthy attachments)....

Think of the things we face in trying to get there.....

1) Priorites

2) Levels of concern about any given subject

3) Nurture

4) Nature

5) Education

Trying to find ways to help my partner be more aware of how his adhd impacts our marriage and wondering if anyone ever tried going through this site with their spouse and spent a little bit of time a day to digest some or this information together. Desperate to find ways in how we can improve our homelife... we don't fight often but when we do it's terrible and in the past it was way worse. I've adjusted my expectations which has helped but I think there's a lot of work that needs to happen on his end and I'm looking to leverage this source amongst others.

Hello!