Yes, that sounds like a sales pitch...but it's not. Happiness is good for our brains and good for handling stress better - in marriages, if you are feeling upbeat you are more likely to be able to take some bumps in the road. If you're feeling down, pretty much everything seems grim. Here's a link to a UTube TED talk on happiness that will not only make you laugh out loud, it also has a very important message about happiness. I urge you to watch it...and also to try two exercises. Some of my clients have done these and all but one have found it helpful in diminishing their struggle. First, take 2-3 minutes a day to write down three new things about which you are grateful. These don't have to be about your relationship - anything at all for which you are grateful. Then, take 5 more minutes (or more if you like) and journal about one of those things in a positive way. Do this for three weeks straight and see what happens. I think you'll like the results. (For more tips, see the video...!)
- MelissaOrlov's blog
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My husband driving me crazy! Messpot and always losing things
I have read other peoples experiences with someone they love who seems oblivious to there their actions.
My husband is 54 years old with the attention span of a 3 year old.
We have only been married for 2 years, but it seems like a two year nightmare!
This will be his third marriage and my first. It makes me wonder if this was the reason his previous marriages did not work out.
Aside from leaving a trail of mess wherever he goes, he LOSES or misplaces his KEYS, PHONE and WALLET everyday!
He also breaks things ( without malice), but with total disregard for how much it costs or bothers me.
I never thought about ADHD until I read this forum and it all fits with his behavior.
Nagging or reminding him about how to correct his actions does not work, but I have found a few things that do help.
It took awhile to convince him but, I have made him wear his keys around his neck on a long ribbon which he can hide under his shirt.
Whenever he leaves a mess like old popsicle sticks stuck to the nightstands that I paid for, I put them in his
pants pockets!. I mess up HIS PERSONAL ITEMS. Trust me. Imagine finding old, sticky popsicle sticks with
chocolate still on them in your dress pants that you wear to work everyday?
Also, I have enforced IF YOU BREAK IT , YOU PAY FOR IT rule.
I read that someone else had tried this with some degree of success.
If he does not reimburse me or replace it, I take something away from him.
Sometimes, NO SEX. Sometimes I hide something that is of value to him.
I know I sound like a witch, but so far it is the only thing that has been working.
The down-side is that it does work for a period of time, but not forever.
At least I get some relief for a period of time. I only hope that I can keep from losing my mind over this.
Otherwise, I will go back to being single.