I’m spending quite a bit of time these days thinking about how to get men with ADHD to realize that their ADHD affects those around them more than they think. At least two men I can think of who have ADHD say they wish someone (other than their wives) had “hit them upside the head” with information that would convince them that their ADHD was causing real problems.
The terrific film ADD & Loving It was aired in Canada and briefly available on the web – enough people clamored to see it that it’s been reposted by Global TV at this link. It’s unclear how long it will be available, so I urge you all to go watch it sooner rather than later (it’s 42 minutes long). The program is fast-paced, fun and easy to watch (the host, Patrick McKenna, is a comedian, after all!), but it’s also very informative and well produced
After years of writing about how ADHD affects relationships I am finally offering counsel for couples who want to apply my expertise to their marriage or relationship. Your situation can feel overwhelming and you are seeking help, but many of you say it’s hard to find someone who truly understands the complex dynamics of the ADHD-affected relationship.
Our research about how ADHD affects marriage also illuminates the specific ways in which non-ADD spouses are frustrated in their relationships. The responders in this section are, once again, non-ADD spouses who have officially diagnosed ADD partners. The themes these people write about are incredibly common. If you are an ADD spouse and you hear your non-ADD spouse comment on these traits you should assume that they are being truthful – these REALLY ARE problems in your relationship – not a figment of your spouse’s imagination. The question asked here? What do you find most frustratin
Over the last couple of years 416 people in marriages affected by ADHD have answered our survey about their experiences and feelings. One of the questions we asked was “What gives you the greatest pleasure in your relationship?” I share these responses because too often worn-out posters suggest that there are no positives to be found in ADHD-affected relationships. Next week, I’ll share pleasures from the perspective of the ADD spouses married to non-ADD spouses.
There is a very interesting conversation going on around my “Learning to Like Yourself Again” post of 7/30/09. A number of readers relate their stories about the relief they have felt as they have started to “become themselves” again and let go of some of their struggle. The question for some, though, is “how do I rekindle the warmth/affection in my own heart for my spouse?”
While my husband reads most of the posts on this site as the administrator, he rarely weighs in. But yesterday he posted some heartfelt – and very wise - advice to a man with ADD whose wife is leaving him because she can’t take it anymore. George’s perspective as a previously badly behaving man with ADD who has successfully changed his life is worth sharing. Here’s what he says:
Learn the dynamics of ADHD relationships. Our Live Couples' Seminar starts on Jan 22, 2025! Register HERE!
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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