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by: J -
I'm thinking and relating this to and ADHD brain that's always working overtime. It's busy up there all day long! What feels good at times is a break from all that activity. If you think about brain waves and frequencies, the highest frequency is also the most alert and full concentration or Gamma waves. Down the list is Alpha and below that is Thera waves. As I understand it, Theta waves happen when your still asleep and when you first wake up. This is that time when your brain is just turning on and...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
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by: J -
that thing I was trying to explain when talking about homeostasis and motivation and how medication changes that. I want to finish my train of thought below, only to say, there is a reason for this delay in my day before doing things. It's been a lifelong pattern but it has to do with my comment about pressure. Pressure is that "thing" I was trying to explain. The resistance I'm feeling to doing something like chores is real. Why? It's just an ADHD thing. But something has to counter the resistance that's...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
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by: Swedish coast -
I think C has a great point. You could agree to arrange your Sunday so that you can both enjoy it, but separately before noon. There is no right or wrong when it comes to recreational time. I read this interesting book a while ago about recreation. I was wondering how to relax since it's been so hard. Not doing anything just drives me up the wall. The book said it's not an activity itself that is recreational, but the lack of purpose when you do it. Inefficiency is the point. You just gave a perfect...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
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by: Swedish coast -
I believe she will see what you've done for her when she no longer has you. Like my ex husband, she might not have a full understanding just of how much you do, and that the comforts she's been used to have little to do with who she is. It would be easier to deal with someone who took advantage of one out of greed with an understanding. But the mind that has so poor self perception it doesn't know what its doing, cannot really be handled in any meaningful way except as you and I have - indulged, then sent...>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: J -
The most profound statement my father ever made. He said it in context to me, getting hit by a car, who ran a red light ( in my early 20's ) while driving his car and he was mad, and I was defending myself by saying: "but I had the right of way !!".....and he said the statement above. There's so many things I can say about this moment that relates to me having ADHD, being criticized, getting defensive, RSD, and the relationship between my dad and I, it could fill a book. Only to say...this was a normal...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
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by: c ur self -
J, many of us who read this documented dynamic understand it completely....All I will say is; that we will either allow it to become a wedge that produce's conflict (placing expectations for life to revolve around our wants and demands for others, as measured out by our own justified mental thought processes...(knee jerk and most common) Or we will recognize difference's and accept them fully even if they mean boundaries...(least common, and usually only adapted after much conflict) We all have a right to...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
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by: c ur self -
Hello friend!....Love C S Lewis...He has such a unique perspective on life and eternal life....I hope you are well dear lady!.... c>>> on Forum topic - Haven't been able to put into words
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by: c ur self -
She refused to even acknowledge the divorce papers for a month or so....(She lives in a mind that want touch what she can't control)...Last week I asked her again, she mumbled something and walked away again...I knew in my heart it was about money!....So I offered her 20,K, to sign it...She demanded 30,K...So I said No, and walk away telling her the 20K offer was only good for a week...So after thinking it over I realized that I wanted her to have every opportunity (only good things) in life...(I can't...>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Swedish coast -
Yes, your texts resonate with me too since that deep and honest love is so relatable. Hoping for reconciliation is something I've done unawares. I'm surprised at it, I decided a year ago that nobody who treats me like this will ever enter my home again, let alone be forgiven and taken back. Dear C, is she moving out yet?>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Off the roller ... -
I'm so grateful for you and your way to communicate something in my heart that I don't have thr tools to communicate.>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Swedish coast -
Thank you. Now I've listened to it. The ABC way of dealing with conflict in a relationship (Apologize and ask open-ended questions, Back off from criticizing and let your partner be who they are, Compliment and model desired change in your loved one) is probably very helpful. Along with daring to face incompatibility and break up instead of wasting time in incompatibility. What the podcast doesn't cover is decreasing executive functioning in your partner. If you had a beautiful relationship to start...>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: c ur self -
I kind of felt like this is where you were...I'm an HSP, who loves deeply...I feel you!...I'm going to be praying for you to feel better, so sorry you aren't well...Attachment is hard to break...Even when it's been or felt one sided, dysfunctional or unhealthy... (((hugs))) c....>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Off the roller ... -
https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-239 Just disclosure, I haven't finished it. It's a hard listen.>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Swedish coast -
Couldn't find that one?>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Off the roller ... -
There's another one just before that one about long term relationships and it was very good.>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Swedish coast -
Thank you AG, I just listened to the Mel Robbin's 'To anyone going through a breakup' podcast. It says many things about letting your old partner disappear, and not reaching out, which makes perfect sense to me. It also says 71% of people feel better in 3 months. I've been in the other 29% though. The most enlightening point was that you're not free until you can let go of the fantasy of getting back together. I realize I must have this fantasy still. I saw him briefly the other day (for the first time...>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Swedish coast -
Yes you're right, it's turning things around for myself I referred to. Him I've given up on. I think now I'm just in a grieving phase for the hopes and ambitions and also good times of the marriage. In my country the winter is very dark, and now's the darkest. I've been ill for five weeks and have caught a new cold today. So most things that regularly thrill me are out of reach at the moment. But there's lots: nature, long walks, hiking, swimming, gardening, painting, yoga, seeing friends, playing the...>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: c ur self -
Sex (intimacy) between men and women will always open up hurt and pain when the purity of the Creator's purpose for it is defiled my our minds....Attempting to understand what each others carnal minds are willing to justify, just becomes a smorgasbord of pain and emotional dysfunction...All the things you are feeling are true to your nature as a man, just like her's would be if you were the one openly professing these same acts of marital betrayal.....>>> on Forum topic - ADHD in both partners one undiagnosed
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by: AG -
I know someone mentioned Mel Robbins podcast before and swedish coast she is doing some work / talks on relationships and break ups. These were good to listen to, but also things you necessarily don't want to listen to. Swedish- I pick up on your hurt. And I can understand how you feel when you say it's harder that he still shows signs of caring and it would be better if he just "forgot" about you. Mel talks about processing your grief from the end of your relationship as it was ...and then...>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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by: Off the roller ... -
Hey Swedish, I logged on just to come on here and say how frustrating (moreso than just the normal frustration!) that must be to hear that. It is devastating and I can understand it so well bc I have been a recipient of that devastation too. I also wondering what you meant by turning things around? For yourself, I hope? I don't have a magic wand of course (or I'd defintely wave it your way for sure) but I'm in intensive therapy right now and my realisation is that while I thought it was triage for my...>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
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