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by: Swedish coast -
Listened to the podcast you recommended just now. It's certainly food for thought. Finding out how to live now is quite a challenge. How does one manage a high-stress work environment, irregular hours, intense child weeks and empty childless weeks, even when there are no complications like grief, self-doubt, bad timing, illness, and the rest? Having worked a week but still not feeling well after 5 weeks of infection, I question if I can go on like this or need major life changes. On the other hand, even...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD and inflammation
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by: Off the roller ... -
Hey Swedish, I fully believe the same as you. Here's the thing, I recently listened to the Mel Robbin's podcast with Gabor Mate - HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU LISTEN TODAY EVEN - it's titled: Dr. Gabor Maté: The Shocking Link Between ADHD, Addiction, Autoimmune Diseases, & Trauma - you can watch on YT or listen on podcast. It will BLOW YOU AWAY and validate what you are thinking. Now, perhaps I am making a direct correlation but with my DX spouse, who has a massive history of immune deficiencies, you have to...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD and inflammation
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by: J -
Moving to a different state with no friends and unfamiliar territory and things to do makes it difficult to be separate except during work hours. I'm activity trying to remedy that as well. Going back to my old standard retreat and sanctuary.... skiing and the mountains. It's never failed before. She doesn't ski so I'll be going solo which is fine with me.>>> on Forum topic - Understanding how OCD, Anxiety RSD and Emotional Lability work
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by: Swedish coast -
To me, a person I feel strongly attracted to still needs to give me a chance to long for them, not perpetually chase after me which I dislike. So I think you're right.>>> on Forum topic - Understanding how OCD, Anxiety RSD and Emotional Lability work
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by: J -
I believe this is exactly right. And I don't have to go any further than myself to understand this. I don't care how beautiful or physically appealing a woman is, if they've got something about them ( bad attitude ) or what ever else about their behavior or personality that makes them unattractive to me, I wouldn't want to have sex with them even if it was offered. Attraction has a lot more to do than just physical appearance or being nice. This is a big part of why I'm listening to her when she uses the...>>> on Forum topic - Understanding how OCD, Anxiety RSD and Emotional Lability work
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by: Swedish coast -
I imagine a victim of sexual abuse might need to feel safer than most to want to participate in any sexual activity. But also, let's be honest. To approach somebody sexually is not about what you feel, but what feeling you can arouse in the other person. They must like your advances, or those advances will always be threatening, disgusting or, at best, annoying. I've left somebody long ago because they didn't get this. They were as sweet as can be, but didn't know how to tickle somebody else's desire,...>>> on Forum topic - Understanding how OCD, Anxiety RSD and Emotional Lability work
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by: J -
Not only from the more recent past in short relationships, where the men only wanted sex, but from long ago when she was sexually abused at age 13 by her sisters husband who lived in the house at the time. She's even mentioned that her therapist had speculated current issues from the past but she didn't continue with the therapist long enough to get that part sorted out. I'm sure these things exacerbate our situation but I don't think it's at the heart of the matter. We haven't had sex for a year an half...>>> on Forum topic - Understanding how OCD, Anxiety RSD and Emotional Lability work
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by: J -
are very different. My top two are touch and quality time. Her top two are acts of service and gifts. Her's are easy for me....mine for her is where our problem together begins. That is a good idea however...asking her what would be more comfortable instead. In the big picture though....any initiation on my part in showing affection, romance, love but especially sex has appeared to be the biggest issue. Me initiating anything along these lines is what seems to trigger her. So even talking about it or...>>> on Forum topic - Understanding how OCD, Anxiety RSD and Emotional Lability work
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by: Swedish coast -
I'm sorry Adele, that sounds so heart wrenching.>>> on Forum topic - Understanding how OCD, Anxiety RSD and Emotional Lability work
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by: AdeleS6845 -
Perhaps her behavior stems from things that happened in past relationships. With my fiance, I sometimes react that way. I was married to someone who only gave me positive attention when he wanted sex.>>> on Forum topic - Understanding how OCD, Anxiety RSD and Emotional Lability work
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by: Haveaniceday -
Thank you c ur self, I totally agree, and have to always keep in mind that while our teen is 17, looks 20, has the life experience of someone at least that age (we've travelled / moved internationally and have been exposed to much), has the executive functioning of say a 13 year old, lives in a society where kids grow up really quickly and can legally do a lot more than other countries, and is exposed to a universe of sometimes questionable ideas on social media - we can only but expect some very...>>> on Forum topic - Support group for parents?
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by: AG -
Interesting J..... I sometimes react same to my husband. I wonder if having a conversation about it and asking her her opinions, exploring her preferences of "love language" maybe hers are not touch like yours are. Ask her what she would want you to do instead of gazing, moving in etc....>>> on Forum topic - Understanding how OCD, Anxiety RSD and Emotional Lability work
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by: c ur self -
The world of responsibility & accountability will demand your children (like us all) grow and adhere to appropriate behaviors in all aspects of life...Know matter what knowledge we feel we have about a mind condition, we should teach, love and discipline all children the same...(Recognizing of course the realities of their abilities)....I hope you find an informative group who are learning through living it....>>> on Forum topic - Support group for parents?
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by: J -
I'm not doing this all the time any more as I did when we first got together yet this reaction is pretty consistent under the same circumstances. It's just happened enough now that I can see the pattern.>>> on Forum topic - Understanding how OCD, Anxiety RSD and Emotional Lability work
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by: J -
I'm coming back to something you said.."many times, they go straightforward to bewilderment" Something happened this morning that has happened before but this time it clicked. When I'm feeling attracted to my SO, and especially feeling in the mood to express these feelings, I'll do certain little tell tales like: gazing, moving closer ( moving in ) changing the tone of my voice which usually ends up with me kissing her. And depending on her mood...this behavior appears to be more annoying than welcome....>>> on Forum topic - Understanding how OCD, Anxiety RSD and Emotional Lability work
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by: c ur self -
There are reason's for sickness and weak immune systems...Anything that produces stress in the mind an body can effect the immune system....Although there are other things that do the same....(Sleep loss, vitamin deficiency, allergies, environment, etc..)>>> on Forum topic - ADHD and inflammation
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by: c ur self -
Unless I see human nature (the birth minds of human's) the way my creator see's it...It will always produce bewilderment and unanswered questions about the actions of others, as well as my own thoughts and actions.... c>>> on Forum topic - The unkindness
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by: c ur self -
When we push for perfection (which we know is unattainable, and I have sadly fit that mold before) we may be leaving a lot of things in our wake...Any false reality I demand to see myself in, usually ends or prevents ownership of what God an others are truly seeing....>>> on Forum topic - Understanding how OCD, Anxiety RSD and Emotional Lability work
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by: J -
Hi WildBill, As far as the communication part you mentioned, I've found learning conversations are extremely helpful. Melissa was the first person who introduced them to me and they work, not just with an ADHD partner but with everyone. I use them all the time now and they're becoming a natural part of my communication repertoire. They work specifically to find mispoken words that a person doesn't realize they've said. I do that a lot myself and catch myself saying them quite often. If someone tells me I'...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD vs Anxiety
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by: adhd32 -
I have found with today's medical community you have to push for answers. I moved to the south from a big northeastern city and the medical care here is barely adequate. Wrong diagnosis at urgent care caused hubs a 3 day hospitalization, for example. I had an issue and 5 different specialist visits later to finally get answers and ultimately surgery. We encounter dismissive, irritated Drs who don't listen and discount your intelligence even though they know nothing about you. You know something is...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD vs Anxiety
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