Recent forum posts (all topics)

I hope the authors of this blog don't mind me recommending a book that I have found really helpful... and I haven't even finished reading yet :)

It's called 'Just Listen' by Mark Goulston. It's about turning yourself around to a different point of view... where instead of trying to get your point across, you try and understand the other person's issues. My hubby loves and trusts me, but when I use certain tactics to try to get my message across, he gets defensive and paranoid that I am trying to push my own agenda.

Hi.  My husband haas ADHD that was diagnosed at age 33.  We now have two kids, ages 4 and 2.  I have read on this site that there is a strong environmental component, but I don't really know what that means specifically.  What I'm wondering, are there things I can do in our household that would help my children at this stage?  Neither has a diagnosis and I don't have any particular concerns.  If there's anything I can do to help them, (not get ADHD?  present more mildly? cope with it if they ever are diagnosed?) I want to do it. 

I have aquestion for non-ADDers:  How do you respond when you spouse tells you she meant to do something, but in fact, didn't?  I'm not talking about a situation in which she forgot to do something she said she was going to do.  I'm talking about something else.

It seems that my wife is always stressed.  Whether it is because she takes too much on, has trouble planning her time, procrastinates, doesn't know when things she is doing are "good enough" or a combination of all of these (which I suspect), the fact is, she is always very stressed.  I, on the other hand, am almost never stressed.  I have arranged my life so that I have minimal stress.  I know how to say no and set limits, and I am a very good judge of what I can accomplish in a given amount of time, know how to build in "cushions" for the unexpected, etc.  Balance of work, church

I'm not sure what forum this belongs on, so I'll try here as my current emotional state is centering around frustration.

As I read the posts of women that are frustrated, tired, and angry at having to deal with their ADHD spouse I am left wondering. Is it really ADHD that causes these things? Could it be just personality traits? Is the ADHD a diagnosis that allows the affected individual to not take responsibility for their actions?

Do women who do NOT have ADHD spouses experience the same frustrations that those of us with effected spouses do? I would say yes. How much then is due to the dx and how much is due to other factors?

Hi,

Check out my recent post entitled "Our Hard Work Seems to be Paying Off" in the "Communications with ADHD" topic area.  I am actually feeling hopeful today, whereas just 3 days ago I was wondering if maybe my wife and I ought to split up.  I can attest to the fact that a relationship with someone with ADHD is very hard work, and also that the hard work does seem like it will pay off.  I really do appreciate all the responses I have gotten to what feels to me like an awful lot of posts that I have made in recent weeks.  I definitely plan to continue using this forum to get feedback, advice,

Last night my wife wasn't ready to come up to bed when I went to bed so I kissed her goodnight and said "Please don't stay up all night" and she said "I won't."  She did not come up to bed until the exact time I was going to get up from bed (the alarm had gone off about 15 minutes earlier).  She got into bed.  I cuddled up to her and have her a kiss and asked "Did you get your work done?"  She said she had.  I asked "Did you get any sleep?"  She replied that she had gotten some.  She said, "I should have moved from the love seat to the couch, though."  I asked "How come you didn't come up t

We have strange dynamics around household tasks. I'd like opinions on how to get unblocked in this area.

I am physically limited and have a lot of pain on normal activities like walking. My husband has pretty severe inattentive ADD. Soon after we married, he lost his job and didn't work regularly for 3 years. He's working now, at a rather difficult job that he loves. I went back to school while he wasn't working, figuring if I had to support another person the rest of my life, I needed a better job. I lost my job in November.