Does anyone else deal with their spouse and their odd "requests"? Example: my ADD husband will insist that we not open the large garage door and use the side door instead. If one of us chooses to open the large garage door - he is instantly mad!
There are lots of frustrating things about my add husband but this one of late is driving me to madness. My husband can not keep his hands off my stuff. He says "if your crap wasn't such a mess I wouldn't have to touch it" Its not even a privacy thing; its sheer mayhem because I can't put my hands on things when I need them. ie: flash drive at 9:55pm when the printer ink runs out, collectible posters that were there 2 weeks ago, He loses his stuff a lot, is late, forgetful, blurts, interrupts and worst of all does not connect the dots!!
Okay, so 4 weeks ago (about) my husband tells me that he is miserable and if counseling doesn't work - he is leaving me. 2 weeks ago, he wants to sell our house and buy a new one together. He thinks that working from home rather than the office is a great idea - then he is reminded of when he did do that how unhappy he was to not have contact with others everyday.
My husband seems to take all things to the extreme. He was informed that forms of exercise help ADDer's - okay great. Yeah, not so much. He apparently believes that this is a ticket to exercise all of the time, without regard to anyone else. Normal people will exercise 4-5 times a week - fit it in during lunch breaks, before work, ect. Not him - he will get home from work (late) eat his reserved dinner plate and head out.
Why, why, why! HOW DARE YOU UNWRAP SOMETHING AND JUST LEAVE IT ON THE COUNTER!!!WHY - BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT THE OTHER PERSON ON THE HOUSE WHO CAN'T STAND IT WILL CLEAN UP AFTER YOU INSTEAD OF GO AFTER YOU AND "NAG" AND "REMIND" BECAUSE IT IS POINTLESS????
My AD/ADHD husband is a musician and songwriter. After a couple of years urging him to get to play out, he finally got an opportunity to do a benefit performance at the local VA (he is a Vietnam vet who also suffers from PTSD, but that's another story....). After scrambling for hours before the performance that same evening to find everything he needed and get his gear in order, he admitted that he should never be so unprepared again and next time will be ready at least 2 days ahead of time.
After reading and learning, on this site and others, I understand the whole "now, not now" time frame ADDers operate from...
What I don't understand is how to live with it!?!?!?!
For example:
Does anyone have any experience with husband who wets the bed when he gets stressed out? He has been diagnosed but hasn't started any meds and this has been going on for quite some time and he understandably doesn't want to talk to the doctor about it. I know he is embarrassed by it but I'm not sure how I should handle it.
I think that I basicly 'get' most of the issues that come with ADD but not the lack of sex drive - interest.
Could some one please explain?
I always thought that was a natural instinct in all men. Not so, in my husband.
Shocked, wounded , confused, mislead, ripped off and very angry... from the wedding night forward.
I came into the marriage without a clue, this man had ADD or what that meant. Wow, welcome to reality?
Is this a common trait amongst people w/ ADD?
I notice it with my s/o. First it was through addictions: phone, internet, video games. Now he physically wants to run away from his life. To another state. Why do they do this? Running won't solve problems. I should just let him go, right? I am starting to suspect he's living a double life.
Please share any similar experiences you have.
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