Recent forum posts (all topics)

Just started reading the book and wow I didn't feel so alone after reading about non-ADHD spouses.

Help me?

Hello again, divorce from my severe ADD husband is slowly progressing.

Things are surreal. My husband who for 22 years has relied on me for all planning, prioritizing and all ideas, and the brunt of practical parenting, who hasn't been able to reliably work even part time in five years, now has great confidence in making an equal parent for our children post divorce.

Just finished the book and I have a question about the learning conversations and mirror conversations.  Does anyone do these in real life? I honestly cannot fathom my husband (ADHD) and myself (ADHD-ish but more a nag) speaking to each other like this. We are the couple that almost got kicked out of Lamaze class for laughing when the instructor said that he'd need to tell me really nice things when I was at the peak of labour pains. Lucky for him I ended up with 3 c-sections which he was completely silent all the way thru.

Advice needed on how much to shield or deal with the ADHD spouse in relation to your kids. Specifially when you can see that the ADHD spouse and their behaviour is affecting them. I feel like I'm throwing my son to the wolves and it's heart breaking...but I also can't fix the disappointment that my spouse brings to his relationship with his son. 

My wife in 20 years has never helped me.She's 52. I have to cook, clean, do the bills, buy groceries, cut the grass, decorate, take her to her appointments etc for over 20 years. I've never had a meal made for me, Not for my birthday, not for Christmas. Never. She constantly acts like a bratty 16 year old and I just can't get her to be responsible. A few times she's drained our bank account to give her sister money for drugs. I've had to sell our old home and move to a new city because she stopped working 12 years ago. I have no friends nor family here. I get the blame for everything.

Hi all,

I hope everyone is well. I’m here for a bit of advice. I’ve been a long time lurker and also posted coming up to a year ago now about mine and my wife’s marriage. In summary, we separated about a year ago (entirely my doing and my fault, and I take no pleasure in writing that). We’ve been back together since the start of the year. I love her and my family dearly. Almost definitely more than they’ll ever know.

Bit of background -

- We’ve been together for about 8 and a half years

- 3 kids, 1 year, 6 years & 7 years

Hi, everybody! This is my second post here. The first one was a little over 3 months ago about how difficult it has been for me and my husband (ADHD), specially since the baby (1y6m) was born. Thank you so much for all the feedback and advice!! 
Unfortunately, things have not improved since then. We've been seeing a couples therapist, but I don't know if it's helping that much. It's so draining all of this. 
We've been fighting so much, even in front of the baby, which is the last thing that I wanted!! I don't want us to hate each other. When enough is enough? It's been almost a year, and it's only getting worse. We've been together for 20 years now, maybe we are afraid to face the truth... it's so, so sad all of this.
Everytime we fight, it's like we are living in 2 completely different universes. It's madness and it doesn't go anywhere. He says I started the fight, and I say he's the one who started the fight. I say he is being aggressive and impatient towards me and the baby, he says that I'm the one who's being aggressive and etc. 

Our finances are a mess, and I've been asking for our banks infos and etc for almost a year, and he doesn't give it to me, so we might be in debt and I don't even know it! I can't live like this anymore. How can I find the straingth to leave? He is an amazing dad, a truly wonderful person, so it's hard... 

Just experiencing rejection sensitivity dysphoria at it's peak.

A few weeks into planning for divorce, my ADD husband's strange communication patterns are more frightening than ever. At the least hint of criticism, he's furious. 

We both intend to make divorce nice, and fair for each family member. There shouldn't be anything to be afraid of. I've been trying to calm things down.