Forum topic: Therapy Advice Needed

Mon Apr 27th, 2015 - 11:10am by Cecily

Forum: 
Diagnosis and Treatment of ADHD

My husband was diagnosed four years ago with ADD/bipolar and depression. We live 3 hours from the nearest ADHD specialist. We're still trying to figure out the medications that are right for him. Still not finding a therapist nearby who is the right fit or really knows their stuff, which is probably the reason that the medication has still not been figured out in four years.

I want to move nearer to help and resources in order to keep our family afloat. My husband wants to on one hand, but the stress and fear of such a big change is trumping that desire and so he wants to stay here--he grew up here.

I'm desperate. I don't want to live like this forever. He's about to lose another job.

I think that the only way for us to stay afloat, to break out of this dark, helpless hole we're in, is to get real help.

I need someone to tell me whether I'm probably right and that I should insist that we move whether he likes it or not. HOW IMPORTANT IS THE RIGHT THERAPIST?

Comments

Geese's picture

Submitted by Geese on Sun May 10th, 2015 - 3:45pm

This is the beginning of my second month of therapy. Like your husband, I was great a getting jobs and bad at keeping them, financially and emotionally creating that hole for the family that you mentioned. I'm still struggling, but there is hope and massive amounts of progress being made. I'm doing well at work and the home front is massively improving too. Even my wife has noticed the improvements despite not really blievin in ADHD to begin with. 1) specialists: I live in an urban area and there are ADHD experts everywhere. In my experience though, they are outstanding drug dealers who an get you on meds asap and Vyvanse has helps me get 40% to where I am now. 2) self awareness: going to blogs and forums like this has taught me what I must look and sound like. Knowing what I might be like to others has, along with the meds, helped moderate my impulsivity and poor judgement. 3) defragmenting: listening to a half hour to an hour of ADHD advice on YouTube per day has helped me to organize my work, life and thoughts and develop some useful habits that counteract my ADHD. But this has been a very delicate balance. I'm out of vyvanse (picking more up tomorrow) and my impulsive, moody, procrastination prone self has come back this weekend with a roar. The carelessness is the worst issue, and I need to make sure this doesn't happen again cause it's very debilitating when bein normal ia auch a challenge. I'm still am aware of myself of course, but it's hard not to seem grumpy, impulsive, selfish and unreliable. Anyway, if it were up to me I'd move to where ever there were experts to help - and lean on web resources aw much as possible. There is hope, but it is really an ongoing and uphill battle. Best of luck.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled is convincing the world he doesn't exist.

Submitted by kellyj on Mon Apr 25th, 2016 - 3:12pm

is really important I think.  I went through 3 before I found one that I could connect with.  One I thought was horrible and gave me bad advise...one was just Okay but nothing was really coming from it...and one I liked but the times and the drive to get there was actually posing a problem in itself.

I think, for a person in crisis or is really struggling....the easier the better in doses that they can handle.  If the disruption to your life makes the overwhelm greater than before....it counter acts the benefits since the benefits come over time.  One on one therapy can take different forms and different approaches and each therapist seem to have their own unique way of approaching things.  Trust and rapport are critical if it is going to work?

Moving does sound like a radical change with no guarantees to these things when it comes to therapy?  Too much change happening too fast will only make matters worse.  Therapy takes time and each person will only be able to assimilate things at their own pace?  An immediate expectation of results in a specific time frame will put undo pressure on the process I think?  We're talking years here...not months to be sure when it comes to making these kinds of changes but that's not to say that there are not other options available?

What about ADHD coaches who work with you over the phone?  I would tend to lean more in that direction in getting more immediate results with the caveat.....that they need to be ready and willing and are not needing more behavioral therapy than just the "how to's?"

Behavioral therapy as I see it...is different than the nuts and bolts of "how to do things differently".  That will take longer if that is what is needed?

Moving as I see it....would be the last choice after online or phone contacts were exhausted first?  When I say online....I'm not thinking in terms of "self help" and a more tailored personal one on one approach with some personal advise and attention devoted to each persons situation and needs?

I know my T has worked with clients by phone but I think that was after he already saw them in person and this was only after they moved.  Having said that....one on one over the phone....might be better than moving? 

If I'm not mistaken...I think I recall that Melissa Orlov might work with people over the phone but I might not be absolutely correct in saying that.  She would be someone I would trust to know the particulars of someone with ADHD or at least....know someone who could help?

 

J