Forum topic: Public Awareness- Follow up on Melissa Coment

Wed Jan 23rd, 2008 - 5:09pm by stb616

Forum: 
other
An Easy Trap new On January 23rd, 2008 MelissaOrlov said: It is not only non-ADD spouses, but also some doctors and some people with ADD who would pathologize ADD and make people believe they have something wrong. They have something...yes...just like people who can't see without glasses have something. It's hardwired into their brains. BUT, that something can be wonderful and fabulous, too. The issue is - how do you find the equivalent to glasses for your ADD relationship? The thing that makes it easier both for you and for those around you? Unfortunately, the state of learning about ADD means that there is still a stigma attached to ADD for many people. If you went around saying you thought your husband was abnormal because he needed glasses everyone would laugh at you. Not so with ADD - it's got that stigma... On the other hand, if you went around, needing glasses and running over people in your car all the time because you couldn't see them, but refused the "treatment" of glasses, people would be angry with you - just as spouses are often angry about ADD that is ignored or denied. The stigma has terrible consequences...that are so unnecessary! I look forward to the time when people see ADD for what it is - something that is a part of you, the negative symptoms of which can (but don't always) have terrible impact on others (and you) if not dealt with. And, here's the good news - there's a real upside to having ADD once you figure it out (unlike glasses...which simply bring your eyesight up to where everyone else is). Melissa Orlov

Comments

Submitted by stb616 on Wed Jan 23rd, 2008 - 5:38pm

I wanted to have Melissa's comment from another post first (hope that was ok with you, Melissa). Does anyone else get tired of the false information that's floating around out there? It really bothers me at times to hear some people discuss this topic and how they feel about it. Its such a broad range of feelings too. On one end there are people who think its all BS and made up, and on the other are the misdiagnosed cases slapped on children from misinformed parents and doctors. And in the middle of all that?? The people who say its all made up don't really bother me. Some people refuse to open up thier minds and theres nothing anyone can do about that. The mess in middle.....For example- It must have been several months ago now that I had the Today Show on in the morning and I can remember what they were interviewing this woman about but she was all worked about something that happened to her son and proceeded to state that becasue of this event her son "CAUGHT" ADHD. He caught it? Like its a virus or some bad MuJu that floats around waiting to strike? And whoever was interviewing this woman (Merideth or Ann most likely) of coarse says nothing- just oh, thats so terrible. C'mon people. On the too easily calling people ADHD and misdiagnosis- It also really bothers me when I see children being medicated all the time. I know I'm over sensative about it but I do think that ADHD is a scape goat at times for some parents and teachers to slap a label on every little boy who talks too much and isn't "living up to expectations." I hate that becasue that is part of what gives ADHD a stigma in the first place. To part of the population ADHD equates to a hyper, talkative, little boy who will never do anything with his life. How sad for the "ones" who have ADHD to be treated like that.and what a shame for the "ones" who are just brats with parents who want to blame anything and everything but themselves. I've seen people work so hard to get there child medicated, its so sad. They never worry about diet or behavioral issues, just drugg'em up and go back everyday life. Whatever it takes for the parents to be able to pretend they are great parents with perfect children. I'll stop there before I offend anyone (else?).

nikkiana's picture

Submitted by nikkiana on Sat Jan 26th, 2008 - 4:14pm

I think it's a complicated matter that has a lot to do with cultural and societal expectations (for better or for worse). There's so many facets to it that I get overwhelmed on how to respond... Forgive me if I get bogged down. One of the things that really struck me when I started doing some of my own research on ADHD was how confused I got at first when trying to find resources just because of terminology.... I remembered being taught once upon a time that ADHD was hyperactive people and ADD was inattentive people.... and when I first started having inclinations that I might fit the bill as inattentive and was looking for help, I had a really hard time finding anything because I was trying to do a search on ADD, and since that's now an antiquated term, I had a really hard time finding any useful information.... and since I though ADHD only applied to hyperactives, I ignored a lot of info thinking it didn't apply to me because I wasn't hyperactive. It wasn't until I managed to trip over the Wikipedia entry for ADHD that I figured out that what I'd been calling ADD was actually referred to as ADHD inattentive (or sometimes abbreviated as ADHD-PI or ADHD-I). When I was going through the diagnosis process, one of the people who was kind enough to help me out with assessing my past was the woman who was my first and fifth grade teacher (small school, she got shuffled around teaching different grade levels for a few years) and one of the things that caught her off guard was the ADHD vs. ADD terminology too... When I explained it to her, she was surprised..... I guess a lot of resources for teachers still use ADD as being the term for inattentive types.... and I've found a lot of the time in conversation it's MUCH easier to use the term ADD if I don't want to spawn a long drawn out conversation about DSM terms because people will argue with me about my diagnosis because I'm not "hyperactive". As far as ADHD in children and how it relates to school..... I do think there's an over diagnosis of ADHD in school aged children. It would seem that the automatic assumption whenever you have a kid who's disruptive is to assume that their ADHD... and well, I'm sure that's not always a true assumption. The reality is that most schools in the US have a "one sized fits all" education model, and if you don't fit into the mold regardless of whether the cause is ADHD, having some sort of LD, or being genuinely gifted (or in some cases all three), there's inevitably going to be some problems.... Whether it be behavioral or academic. I think the big problem in the end is the fact that schools don't really look at kids on a case by case basis and ask "Why is this happening?" and care deeply about the answer enough to find the best way to nurture the individual child so he/she succeeds. Instead, if you don't fit the mold, you're a bad kid, or a dumb kid, or a lazy kid. I don't blame the teachers really.... it's a hard job for inadequate pay. I just think the system needs an overhaul.

Submitted by ADHD Family (not verified) on Tue Jan 29th, 2008 - 3:04pm

Wow! So much emotion. May I suggest - Please educate yourself about ADHD through reputable sources. My family and my husband's family have a history of ADHD (which we did not know that was the "why" to so much), Depression and Asthma. I remember when I was small many people told us that asthma was all in our heads and were very unwilling to put out their cigarette or would choose their cat to my sister despite both could put her into the hospital. How far we have come as a society of not only being sympathetic too the plight of the asthmatic, but also the information and treatment of this ailment has grown leaps and bounds and we all breathe easier for it. I remember when "depression" was a dirty word and no one wanted to deal with it. Thankfully, that has changed and people are getting help and their lives have a better quality. I look forward to the day when people can be as informed and accepting to the realities of ADHD as they are to asthma and to some extent depression now. It is biology. The brain scans prove it. The more one researches the subject the clear the cause and effect are apparent. We all need to be patient and caring whatever ails us. With a little creativity and understanding the beautiful who have to deal with their ADHD more than anyone else around would blossom and feel like they could finally fit into a world that has rejected and disowned them in so many ways. COMPASSSION AND UNDERSTANDING -- We all deserve that. THERE IS A REAL NEED FOR BETTER PUBLIC AWARENESS OF ADHD - It's real, It's actually Under Diagnosed and There is Help!