Forum topic: Frustration With Spouse for Not Holding a Job

Mon Oct 27th, 2014 - 1:37pm by lg1062

Forum: 
Negotiation and Setting Boundaries

How do you deal with an ADHD husband that can't/won't hold down a job? I have been the breadwinner for the duration of our marriage (13 years) and realize I have enabled him to "do his own thing" without concern about helping to support our family. He has held a couple of jobs for more than 2 years and he also likes to start his own businesses, but in either case when he runs into difficulties or has conflicts with others, he jumps ship. I know I've allowed this to go on for a long time, so how do I start dealing with this or is it too late?

 

Comments

Submitted by heyitsKierston on Thu Jan 1st, 2015 - 12:26pm

I am so glad that I have found this! My husband as well can not hold a job either. He called last week to tell me that he had been fired. I was so mad and not surprised at the same time. He is a very hard worker but when he is in a place for too long he gets bored and stops doing his job. I was supportive because I know how much he loved that job but at the same time I thought to myself "well what did you expect!!" I don't know what else to do with him. I am glad to know I am not the only one

 

Submitted by overwhelmedwife on Sun Jan 4th, 2015 - 3:13pm

I have recently met a few women whose ex-H's either refused to work or couldn't hold down jobs for very long....or were under-employed. They finally ended the marriages because these H's would still spend (on crazy stuff) , but not work. In their cases, the ex's either got jobs or the ex moved in with parents (don't know how long that will last). Sometimes I think some of these H's would work if they knew that they wives can't/won't support them anymore. One wife said that she had to cancel her H's debit card and credit cards because he'd spend too much.