Forum topic: Diagnosis

Thu Apr 17th, 2008 - 12:07pm by lily

Forum: 
Diagnosis and Treatment of ADHD
Good morning, I realize that this is the marriage forum, but maybe you can help or redirect me. I attended my sons’ parent teacher conferences last night and my meeting with my nine year old’s teacher has brought up (my) concerns about ADD. I am a 42 year old married (15yrs) mother of 2 sons. I’m certain that I have some of the symptoms of ADD but I think they are more or less under control. Some of my sypmptoms are lateness, disorganization, unfinished tasks and underachievement. I’ve found if I stick to a strict schedule I do pretty well. I have a very supportive husband and some good friends who focus on the positive. We’ve had concerns about my 9 year old son since kindergarten. His teacher noticed that he had trouble sitting still, fidgeting and vocalizing at inappropriate times. She basically told us that she thought that he may have an attention issue and wanted to give us a “heads up” if the issue came up later. He is a wonderful, sensitive, curious, bright and loving boy. He loves math, science and reading (and excels in these areas), but struggles with writing (organizing his thoughts and with penmanship…he receives OT). His teachers like him and his classmates like him also, but to a point. He is not hyperactive. Some of the characteristics which I think may be ADD: *Fidgets with things in his desk while teacher is talking. Hands want to be busy. *sometimes talks excessively and does not “get it” that others are disinterested or annoyed *does not finish work at school ( this term, he had an A in math, but that went down to a C because many assignments were never passed in). *His 3rd and 4th grade teachers have both commented that he “notices everything”. One said that he could imagine my son being a border control agent when he grows up because he never misses a thing…I think he notices everything, but has trouble focusing on the task at hand. I know that the first step to diagnosis would be through my son’s pediatrician, but I am hesitant to start this process. There are pamphlets and posters from Drug companies promoting certain ADHD medications and I’m concerned that medications would be pushed. At this point, I want to determine if ADD is an issue. I would like to learn about ADD and learn some parenting strategies and some strategies that could be used at school to help him focus and stay on task. If he is evaluated, I want someone who is an expert to evaluate him. I would appreciate any comments you may have. Thanks very much.

Comments

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on Fri Apr 18th, 2008 - 1:38pm

Yes, this is a marriage forum, but because the predisposition for ADHD is so highly hereditary many of our readers also have these same kinds of questions.  I'll try to be brief.

  • definitely get your son a full evaluation, and when you do so, make sure that he doesn't think that you are doing it because you think there is something wrong.  Position the tests as a way to better understand how his mind works so that you can figure out how to make things easier for him.
  • A great way to deal with writing organization issues in younger kids is to have him tell you verbally what he wants to communicate.  You write the most important ideas onto notecards - one idea to one notecard.  Then give the cards to your son to organize as he sees fit (he'll need help with this at first, but will catch on)
  • you don't need to give your son medications, even if he is diagnosed.  That decision should, first and foremost, be your son's (it's his body).  My daughter was diagnosed in 3rd grade and decided meds scared her, so we said "fine".  In 5th grade, she had so much trouble in school that she decided she wanted to try them.  All the time we made it clear that the decision was hers.  If she didn't like the way the meds made her feel, she could stop (they go out of your system very quickly, so there is little down side to trying them if you are diagnosed)
  • There are non-medicinal approaches to treatment, but you would want your son to be diagnosed, in any event.
  • The downside of not diagnosing and treating ADD (in whatever way you decide to treat it) is the potential for very low self-esteem.  So "not treating" is not a neutral activity.  It has potentially negative side effects, too.
  • The best treatment always includes behavioral treatments - setting up routines, learning how to turn in the homework on time (setting up reminders to do so, if necessary), overtly working on social adaptation.  Lots of times, a therapist can help.

Good resources include Dr. Hallowell's books (overview of alternative treatments is included in Delivered from Distraction), the Hallowell website resource section at www.drhallowell.com and a good child psychologist.

Best of luck with it.

Melissa Orlov