Forum topic: Funny

Fri Jan 18th, 2008 - 3:07pm by stb616

Forum: 
Joy in Marriages with ADHD
No posts here? I guess people only like to talk about problems. I think thats human nature, not ADHD. Joy, in a marriage with ADHD. I assure there's rarely a dull monment. Both of us are. We get some good laughs at the others expense and one of my favorite hobbies is making fun of myself and all wonderful things I get myself into- some of which I think may only take place in the life of a person with ADHD. I'm sure there's more, but I've typed more on this forum in last 2 days than I did in all of 2007. So I'm going to shut off the computer and give my fingers a break.

Comments

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on Mon Jan 21st, 2008 - 10:24am

People may not be posting in the joy category, but I can tell you that some of the most read blog entries are the positive ones...(I can see a count on what gets read).  "Joy" may just be less interesting to discuss!

:-)

Melissa Orlov

clancy's picture

Submitted by clancy on Fri Apr 18th, 2008 - 7:24pm

I can tell you there is hope for ADHD couples. A few weeks ago was my 30th anniversary and it was a crappy anniversary! I tried to take Melissa's advice and do something edgy with my husband . The only thing edgy was a possible ride on the turnpike in his car to see if he fixed it. Sexy! Of course, I refused to ride in that messy car. I have been trying to feel the "empathy" someone suggested. Empathy really stuck in my brain for some reason. Our relationship has turned around and is back to the crazy , silly way its always been on good days. I never mentioned the act of feeling empathy but the other day I was rubbing his back and my husband said if he didn't know it was me , he wouldn't be able to tell the difference between me or my son rubbing his back. That was an aha! for both of us! Now I knew why I was so defensive whenever he criticized my son, which was all the time. It felt like he was attacking me. My son is almost a clone of me but with testosterone which my husband finally saw and verbalized. Since then he's very careful about what and how he discusses my flaky and wonderful son who forgets to pay his bills ( just like the rest of us). I'm seeing more acts of appreciation between us too, like making my lunches for me and me complimenting him on how nicely the patio or kitchen looks after he cleans up. There is hope but it takes work from both partners.
clancy

toodogg2's picture

Submitted by toodogg2 on Thu May 15th, 2008 - 8:15pm

sounds interesting. the wife and i enjoy a lot of Japanese cartoons and comicbooks, along with her kids (now mine after 12+ years of marriage) that i got them all into. thing is, it all backfired! now they want to watch TV, video games and stuff Online related to the hobby so much that the house, spiritual things and communications are just stale! the thing i had loved and collected ever since 2nd grade is now like an ex-girlfriend or something! how i regret introducing my hobbies to them; not as much fun anymore. how's that for funny irony? J "It hurts to be Me...among all the Normals." AniGRAF/x, Inc
J "It hurts to be Me...among all the Normals." AniGRAF/x, Inc

Submitted by Fran on Fri May 16th, 2008 - 8:58am

I, too, encouraged the video games, computers, etc. with my kids (13, 11, 7), and now controlling their use of same is/can be a battleground. They can tend to get addicted. Thankfully I'm seeing a great therapist who is encouraging me to set limits - she reminds me I am the parent. And I do find that when I limit their access to electronics (I literally hide computer mouses, laptops, satellite tv access cards, etc.), they complain up a storm, but eventually settle down, do their homework, play outside, etc. I think there may be an article about this topic in the summer issue of ADDitude magazine. I guess there is a time and place for everything. They can be allowed some electronic access time, and you can even enjoy that time as a family (I know we all like to watch certain movies and shows together). The electronics time can be balanced out with other family activities - I know we enjoy hiking, etc. Kids complain initially, but end up enjoying themselves immensely. I bet if you set some limits, plan some fun activities, things will start looking up. A word to the wise - don't let their negative attitudes affect you. If you remain calm and positive, they are sure to follow suit eventually. A great website about remaining calm/dealing with high intensity kids is www.celebratecalm.com. You can register for their free enewsletter. Hope this info helps in some way.