Forum topic: New to concept of adult ADHD

Thu Aug 7th, 2014 - 10:54pm by Mrs. C

Forum: 
Support for the ADHD Partner

I'm new to this, so please be patient with me.  My husband appears to have ADHD along with a germ phobia.  It has gotten to the point that I honestly don't know how much longer I can stay in this marriage.  He knows he has a problem, but when I mention getting help, he says I think he's crazy.  We've been married for almost 25 years and its getting progressively worse.  Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!  He has not been officially diagnosed with ADHD, but he definitely has many of the characteristics.

1) He interrupts your conversation

2) He repeats what he says until he feels he has gotten his point across

3) He paces the floor when talking or on the phone

4) He looks at everything but you while your talking, then didn't hear what you said

5) He has difficulty reading

6) His mind goes in a hundred different directions at once

7) When I try to help him through a situation, he misreads my intent and says that I nag him

8) He is a public speaker and it has gotten so bad that he walked in front of the platform while a group was performing and it wasn't his time to speak ( I was mortified! I didn't know what to do)

He feels noone understands him and when he comes home from work he stays in his man cave until time to go to sleep.  Please point us in the right direction.  We don't know where to begin.

 

Thanks so much!

Comments

Submitted by c ur self on Fri Aug 8th, 2014 - 7:06pm

If he reads this post/list of things here would he be in denial of it..or would he say, you know, you've got a point?...Because the way you react to his symptoms will play a huge roll in his ability to accept his need to face what's going on in his brain, that's sponsoring his behaviors...I suggest you stay persistent, but, definitely loving and understanding...He might not ever change or even recognize he needs to, but, if he does, it will because the people who love him speaks truth to him in a way he doesn't feel attacked or made to think he is inferior. There are many Physicians who are specialist for ADHD...Who probably set down with y'all and here what is going on...It maybe something else also...some other nerve condition..Hypertension and or Hyperthyroidism...Anyway I hope he will at least meet with a professional with you...

Submitted by Standing on Thu Aug 14th, 2014 - 8:59pm

Mrs. C, i don't have add, but i have had alot of anxiety since childhood, which has caused me to act out some compulsive style behaviors and also to want to isolate when stressed. Because i don't have to struggle to focus, I've been able to work through alot of that, but with add and such distractibility, i imagine that i might feel quite helpless. For your husband, a complete physical exam may be the best starting point? I know my husband had his thyroid checked before being given a script for stimulants. It's frightening to watch a loved one slip seemingly further out of control, and I get the sense that aging doesn't help much, but I still believe there is help if the person is willing. Hopefully getting him less anxious will open the doors to other options.

My soul has dwelt too long with one who hates peace. Psalm 120:6