progress

Non-ADHD partners end up feeling more resentful when they work on their relationship without input or engagement from an ADHD spouse.

For those of you who have learned new tools and had been doing better but are frustrated that things have gotten worse again, you are not alone!

Want to know what success looks like when you've pretty much lost hope and then turn things around?  Here is a letter that came in to me this week that describes it so well that I thought I would share it.  Of particular interest, I think, is the connection between the two partners as they progress - they create an upward spiral of positively reinforcing behavior that really helps them succeed.

Okay, I admit I stole this idea, but I will give full credit to Experience Life Magazine staff for writing a bit about why it’s important to think carefully about this year’s successes before setting your New Year’s resolutions (you can read the article here).  This is a particularly smart idea for couples who’ve been struggling with ADHD issues for a while.  Let me give you my specific thoughts…

Anna Quindlen, at this year's Grinnell College graduation ceremony, said "This is a moment to consider what 'doing better' really means."  She was referring to how we think about personal success, but I think the quote is just as relevant to relationship success. I urge you all to think about what ‘doing better’ really means within the context of your relationship.  Each person will have their own take on this question, but I thought I would share my own ideas.

One of the participants of my couples course recently asked me “You talk about how important it is the measure how you are both doing against your goals…but what does that look like, exactly?” Here is a step-by-step guide to tracking and measuring your progress.

vThis site spends a lot of time addressing and airing problems - I thought it was time to write a light hearted post about the successes that couples who have come here have experienced.  These are all real stories taken from my clients of the past few months.  Enjoy!

For those of you who now see that ADHD might be hurting your marriage there is a lot of information to digest.  So here are six important, easy-to-remember ideas to focus on first so you can start improving your marriage right now.

You may be frustrated at the slow progress that seems to happen in your relationship.  You push and push, yet little seems to change.  You may have read about my comment that “If nothing changes, nothing changes” elsewhere on this blog – I woke up this morning wondering if we could use this idea to help couples make progress, and wondering if a few of you might like to join me in an experiment that might improve your marriage.  Read on, and you’ll find the experiment at the end.

It is common that people diagnosed with ADHD as adults go through a period right after diagnosis in which they seem to make progress, then get into the doldrums.  Adults are different than kids.  With kids, the natural forward momentum of their development help keep progress with ADHD treatment headed in a positive direction.  With adults it’s just the opposite.