expectations

What happens when an ADHD partner takes responsibility for ADHD issues, but still struggles to make things go smoothly?  Here's a good example of the process that couples go through to find a balance that can work for them.

I often hear the comment that non-ADHD spouses need to lower their expectations in order to be happy in their relationships.  I would disagree.  I think that all spouses need to improve their expectations.  Let me explain my thinking, and how this might work in the real world.

I am reading the posts of a woman who is about to get married to a man whom she adores who happens to have ADD.  She is frustrated and confused by his inability to pay attention to wedding planning.  This seems like a great time to elaborate upon what lack of focus means for people with ADD – and for their spouses.

Introducing Sari Solden, and a quick thought on gender roles

I was reminded the other day of one of the most frustrating things about relationships where one spouse is ADHD and the other is not – that is the feeling that you are experiencing the same problems over and over and over again (and again)!  Breaking out of this cycle – which is very exasperating for all – is critical to building a better relationship.  Attitude, believe it or not, and specific communication skills, are the key to moving forward.