-
by: Haveaniceday -
and to continue, this is the feeling I have, I'm more than half way through my life (if I'm lucky and get to live a full life). I see that until my dysfunctional coping mechanisms are really deeply dealt with, I won't thrive in this marriage, or in any other marriage for that matter. I married a combination of my father and mother, mixed with a character in my spouse that is unique and essentially a very good person. I see that it's karmic in a way, why I had the distinct feeling of "he feels like home"...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Anxiety families
-
by: Haveaniceday -
Off the Roller, this was the main topic in my therapy session yesterday. So I have committed to spend 2025 really working through this part. 2024 was about my spouse and our teen acknowledging and accepting their ADD / ADHD , working through lots of crises and me starting to acknowledge the resentment I had built up. I said enough is enough this time last year, which prompted the spouse's diagnosis and start of journey. But now it seems there is a new enough is enough - I literally do not have the physical...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Anxiety families
-
by: Haveaniceday -
Today is the first time I'm even getting to answer the messages to my own post. That's how quickly time gets sucked up in modern day life and with an ADHD family .. Swedish Coast, you mention you had a Burnout in 2018. I had a therapy session yesterday and felt quite positive and balanced, despite realizing once again that I am no closer to knowing what I need to do, or how much further I can go on. Then, when I woke up this morning, I had the nagging question of "I wonder if I'm burnt out". I have never...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Anxiety families
-
by: c ur self -
I'm so excited!!! It's not that I'm am happy about a divorce...It's just that I am extremely thankful and excited to not be held hostage by an uncaring soul any longer!!>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
-
by: c ur self -
I'm trying to stay out of her way....She and I have been having mostly all calm dialog...Once she finally accepted this time, I was done...But, I got a call from my Attorney two days ago...He said she had hired an attorney and sent over a countor proposal...Of course she did (smh) LOL....Basically it said the same thing I had put in my papers, but, she was asking for 40,000, and had it labeled as "property settlement"....I had agreed to a 30,000 dollar gift to help her remodel her house...So I went and...>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
-
by: c ur self -
I am good w/ all the cooking and cleaning stuff (raised by a highly energetic working & disciplinarian mom w/ 2 brothers, no sisters)...I taught my first wife (I was 20, she was 19) how to cook...So maintaining a clean healthy environment will be normal for me...I'm planning on remodeling my home once she has moved...I will just take it one room at a time...Strip up the carpets, remove wallpaper, float out the walls, paint the ceilings, replace the light fixtures/fans etc...I'll probably do the kitchen...>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
-
by: ForestFin -
Thank you all so much for the support and lovely and encouraging words, they mean so much to me and held me accountable for the past month. Our divorce has now been finalized and he moved away yesterday, flew back to his home country. Airport goodbyes were so freaking sad I can't even express it. As we are from two different countries, for our whole relationship the airport has been a happy place for reuniting, nut now it was a place for goodbye. The divorce process went surprisingly well, no...>>> on Forum topic - Help me Divorce
-
by: J -
one of my ADHD strategies for house keeping is not making work that I don't want to do. Even though it's not environmentally friendly, buying plastic plates, cups and silverware worked exceptionally well for me at various times! I also made a lot of one skillet meals, usually stir fry. One skillet, one utensil and one knife. The combinations are endless and they take minutes to make. At least the kitchen was always clean. Lol>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
-
by: Swedish coast -
C, I'm happy too that she's leaving. Hoping for a peaceful future for you!>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
-
by: sickandtired -
Good for you for picking your battles. If she's continuing packing and moving stuff to her old home, you don't want to upset the momentum by arguing over individual items. I argued with my ex over a few things, and he used it as an excuse to stop packing and not leave. I'm looking forward to hearing about your new, peaceful single life after she has totally moved out of your life! Congratulations!>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
-
by: c ur self -
I'm w/ you, relaxing doesn't mean idleness for many of us...I tend to not over think things when I continue with my regular routine's....My wife came home around 6:30 and packed up the kitchen...Most everything we have she say's belongs to her...LOL...I told her to take anything she wants...I'll be the happiest guy in town eating off of paper plates....:) c>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
-
by: J -
I discovered something the other day at work, having to do with one of my co-workers who has ADHD. I was trying to find a word ( or words ) to describe her at times and the best fit was simply a "bad attitude". This comes from not wanting to be there or having to work. I'm sure, at home, she's probably a different person which I'm sure she is. And she's not this way all the time, but still, enough of the time, which makes her hard to deal with. A royal pain would also fit! Lol So as I am, I tend to look...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
-
by: Swedish coast -
J, I believe you. I've seen this in my ex. There isn't a choice about some things. And also, the friction of working against (dis)ability sometimes takes too much energy to be worth it. I don't understand this exactly, but I've witnessed it. I think you should argue for your default Sunday morning. The things that could make it more palatable for your SO I'm guessing could be: 1) An agreed fixed time when you reunite after, like at noon, so she can have some control over her time while she waits, ie not...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
-
by: J -
Before I was ever diagnosed, throughout my life, I began to realize or notice the invisible walls. These were like mental blocks or black holes that I'd run into that seemed to prevent me from doing certain things that I wanted to do. I noticed some things came incredibly easy while others seemed impossible no matter how hard I tried. You might call this innate talent but these walls were different. These weren't just doing something poorly...these appeared as a complete inability no matter how many times...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
-
by: Swedish coast -
>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
-
by: Swedish coast -
Loneliness, oh yes. Haven't been out of a romantic relationship more than a few months since I was 18... It's foreign. But the thought of a partner is vaguely disgusting and also frightening. I couldn't trust anybody. Today it's Sunday. I'll try to do as you say and relax. It might mean digging up the rain wet garden for flower beds and putting in some late tulip bulbs. I think physical and mental distractions play a big part in getting out of the shakiest patches. Couch is a fickle friend. It may just...>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
-
by: c ur self -
I suggest you attempt to relax, and mimic the husband's life at times...There is absolutely nothing wrong with fun and terrible eating at times...The problem it can create is when there is no discipline of life to stop it from being or becoming the norm...Responsible living should be our priority, and we teach that to our children when we discipline away from those fun moments of frivolity back to the responsibilities life demands.... I can tell you, depressive and down moments come from loneliness...All...>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
-
by: c ur self -
If we throw out (never use) human diagnosis, (which I'm slowly learning to do)...That leaves us with only the reality of each individual's brain function, along w/ their spirit man, and the tendencies that produces in them in day to day living (The visible)....The simplified life, that produces less wasted words, less misunderstandings, less excuses, and just frank reality!....No judgements, just the visible fruit of every individuals life...(The why's don't matter in a relationship, only the product)......>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
-
by: Swedish coast -
I think the parenting part is the hardest. You're forced to balance your needs and resources with the needs of several other (dependent) people. And if some of them have ADD, you need to also be their executive backup. A dog is probably a good comparison - you are so very responsible for it's happiness and health. I hope therapy will make a difference for you. Maybe I'll try it again too. All the best to you.>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
-
by: AG -
I started seeing a therapist myself Swedish, recently. I'm trying to focus on me- my thinking patterns and why they are the way they are. I don't have kids, so I can't speak to that part. I do have 2 cats and a small dog that (I feel / I think) creates a constant low level of tension in my life. The dog has been gone a week bc construction going on at our house and it has been so peaceful to me. My one cat is normal again. Anyway maybe talking to someone /a third party person might help. For me, it...>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
Learn to thrive in your relationship
Upcoming seminars & support groups
Learn the dynamics of ADHD relationships. Our Live Couples' Seminar starts on Jan 22, 2025! Register HERE!
Looking for a little more support? Join one of our Non-ADHD Partner Support Groups. First support group starts on Jan 13, 2025. Find all our support group options HERE.
Turn your knowledge into actionable steps to improve your relationship. Sign up here and join our Intent-to-Action Membership Program.
The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
Register for free marriage tips here!
"Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."
Free Treatment E-Book
