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by: J -
I can be much help, but I can offer things that have helped me. Learning from mistakes. I don't consider myself a success either. I'm a work in progress at all times. I'm also with an ADHD partner, so I have some perspective from both sides as well. The communication issues for us have been the biggest obstacles. It also sounds like you're dealing with those too? The biggest things standing in the way are RSD ( defensiveness to criticism) which makes productive conversations impossible if that is not...>>> on Forum topic - Looking for Community in MY ADHD Journey Struggles
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by: Swedish coast -
Hello, I'm non-ADHD so can't give you the perspective you're asking for. However, I want to convey sympathy. Pregnancy is a vulnerable state. The hormonal changes of accommodating a small roommate inside can be costly too. I don't think you can be expected to improve ADD management during pregnancy especially without medication. And if you go through with the pregnancy, you should ideally have your husband's loving support. Not feel alone and sad. About changing in general as an ADD partner, my...>>> on Forum topic - Looking for Community in my ADHD Journey and Struggles
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by: nefun76 -
Pls don't ever feel an ADD ofr ADHD person's co-dependency is an absolute. It is not. It's convenient for a lot of them as they will use your personal strength to thrive . Once it's no longer available, they are capable of channeling all their energy to meet their own needs in their own way. My ex-husband used me to further his entire life all while along he was living a lie and having affairs . He is now on with his cheating partner who clearly doesn't play the co- dependency role I did . He is...>>> on Forum topic - Financial Infidelity
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by: Off the roller ... -
We all need them. I am having some today in fact... or really, they are being thrown at me today anyways. You're going to be ok. Take some time to really think if this is a must-no-exceptions attendance to this event. Something is telling me in the way you are writing it that there should be some consideration into NOT going if you don't have to. Just a hunch.>>> on Forum topic - Humiliation
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by: Swedish coast -
That is taken for what it is, pure compassion and caring. It's so nice of you to take the time to answer. Thank you so much. I don't know what I'd do without reminders.>>> on Forum topic - Humiliation
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by: Off the roller ... -
Do I really need to put anything here? I laughed so hard when you referenced Office Space. Such a great movie and yes, so relevant>>> on Forum topic - Homeostasis ( biorythems )
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by: Off the roller ... -
I see you Swedish. Some thoughts to ponder: 1. Do you absolutely HAVE to go to the event? Like is it life or death or something that you are looking forward to (the event - not the ex being there). Do you WANT to be there? Do you NEED to be there? 2. If you attend this event, do you HAVE to meet/greet/engage with your Ex? If so, why? Who said you have to do this? Is it your internal system telling you that you have to do this thing? If you think - really think through- about the above questions and...>>> on Forum topic - Humiliation
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by: J -
That this information is helping someone Swedish. Even if it's just understanding. I belong to a couple ADHD forums for people with ADHD and I don't hear them talking about it either? And it is really important to know if you have it and are going through this?? I suppose, already being on meds, going off, and now going back on again gives you insite you didn't have before? Hindsight is 20/20 I guess. As far as not being open to talking about it is something else entirely. I don't tell my SO all...>>> on Forum topic - Homeostasis ( biorythems )
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by: Swedish coast -
It must be very dramatic to go through changes in medication. I still wish I'd understood it better when it happened to my husband. Perhaps I could have been more supportive. And also I'm curious how it would feel. I wish he'd told me more about it. As with so many things, it was something he never shared, and I was terrified at the jumble of changes that I saw but never understood since he didn't tell me when he changed meds. Big adjustment with a lot of moving parts. It's a telling description.>>> on Forum topic - Homeostasis ( biorythems )
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by: J -
This is just a little humor that reminded me of what I just said....yet, there is some truth in it as well. YouTube: Office Space: Meeting with the Bob's>>> on Forum topic - Homeostasis ( biorythems )
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by: exhaustedkitten -
Thank you Melissa!>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
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by: MelissaOrlov -
We are doing a few things at the back end of the website and posts were delayed for a bit. Should be better now... Melissa>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
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by: EMADHD -
before i figured our my boundaries for my marriage, i asked myself that same question...then when i figure out my boundaries and put them on paper, i start living as me...it was a process, and a not so easy one, but i am happier and so is my marriage. i hope this help you.>>> on Forum topic - Self worth
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by: sickandtired -
I could never love anyone I didn't trust. Love and trust are intertwined, and both are necessary for a good relationship. When I lost trust in my ex husband and my ex boyfriend, that's when my love died in both of those relationships. If you don't have trust in a relationship it's more like being with an adversary. You have to keep you guard up constantly in an effort to prevent them from hurting you. That's no way to live, especially if the other person doesn't care about your needs or your feelings.>>> on Forum topic - Financial Infidelity
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by: Swedish coast -
C, I'm surprised you think trust and love have nothing to do with each other. I'd say they're inseparable as long as we're in some way dependent on our spouse. Isn't it a rare exception not to be? I've been the main provider as well as the (reluctant) alone leader of the family and the primary doer of unpaid work. Still I've been terribly dependent throughout our marriage. Emotionally, socially, physically. For the children. In every aspect that means something. And it's been impossible to ignore the...>>> on Forum topic - Financial Infidelity
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by: exhaustedkitten -
I'm not sure why it's not posting my replies, but I'm so grateful for all the responses to my original post. I have definitely forgot to take care of me first. I've been in this constant mode of parent child dynamic and in fight or flight mode due to the RSD. I too see happy couples and though I feel happy for them, I feel extremely sad for myself.>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
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by: exhaustedkitten -
Thank you so much for reminding me to take care of me first! I love holidays too and holidays for him seem to set him off and his depression sets in. I feel the same, I feel joy for other couples that I see so happy and I feel sadness for myself. I feel like I'm in fight or flight mode constantly.>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
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by: AdeleS6845 -
Knowing when to call it quits, is not "giving up". You can only push things down and swallow things for so long before they come bubbling up, or they manifest in other ways like poor health. I stuck it out for ten years with my ex.Husband. There was only so much I could do when I was the only one working on the marriage.>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
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by: c ur self -
Love and trust have nothing to do with each other....We have to trust, that the actions of a person (us, them, anybody) will be the same today, as it was yesterday, and manage our lives accordingly, no matter what that entails...Some minds do not think through things, (risk takers) always looking for the golden goose...If you aren't one of those (like I am not) either, then you will need to manage YOUR life, funds, etc...w/ security in mind, and and the things that seem wise to you...I'm so sorry at age 55...>>> on Forum topic - Financial Infidelity
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by: Photographyjunkie83 -
Thank you for sharing your story. I have very much felt the same loss of identity. It was reassuring to hear someone else has experienced it. I've not yet divorced my ADHD spouse but am strongly considering it after months of counseling resulted in minimal improvement. What slight improvement there has been was short-lived. Good luck to you!>>> on Forum topic - The ruin