The Transition to Saying No

ADHD & Marriage News - June 25, 2024

Quote of the Week

“If I can’t say no, then my wife can never trust my yes…this was a big idea in learning to not take on things I couldn’t handle just to try to please her. Also important was that I knew I would sometimes get hurt (in the transition). You are taking a risk when you say no, but the only way through the process is to take the plunge. I was better prepared for when she was unhappy (with the no) because I knew ahead of time that sometimes she would be unhappy.”

- Joseph Semah, LCSW, and one of the ADHD & Marriage consultants

Like many with ADHD, Joseph Semah was used to saying ‘yes’ when his wife asked him to do something, even if he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to complete it. But, happily for them both, he changed that habit to one in which he steps back for a moment, assesses the request being made, and answers as honestly as he can about whether or not he can say ‘yes.’

The transition to more honest ‘nos’ can be difficult, but Joseph recommends that you ‘take the plunge.’ In the short-term your partner may not be happy with your no. But in the long term your honesty supports a far more important aspect of your relationship – mutual trust.

Do you say ‘yes’ more often than you should?

Resources For those in relationships impacted by ADHD

SEMINARS, GROUPS:

ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - Is your relationship in trouble? My premier, highly acclaimed 9-session zoom seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next LIVE seminar will start in Fall 2024.

Non ADHD Partner Support Group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group - Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.

ADHD & Marriage Consulting group - Consider this group if you're interested in doing individual or couples work with someone who is an ADHD expert. This is a group of professionals who understand the issues faced by individuals and couples impacted by ADHD. We will re-open our inquiry portal to match clients with consultants on August 15.

FREE RESOURCES:

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD;

Downloadable chapters of my books;

A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;

A large number of blog posts on various topics;

Referrals

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