More on Women with ADHD

ADHD & Marriage News - February 21, 2024

Quote of the Week

“What has struck me with increasing frequency and conviction…is how much the way that women with ADHD struggle with cultural expectations is similar to the way that other women struggle with things such as growing older or body image. The challenge for all women is to break free from the cultural ideals they have internalized and begin to define for themselves what it truly means to be a competent and valuable woman, mother, or partner.”

- Sari Solden

Have you ever thought “I need to do better!” in a self-judgmental way? If you don’t have ADHD, you probably can let that idea go and live your life – at least until the next time you do something you don’t love.

BUT, if you have ADHD, that feeling might be your life. Because you grew up being critiqued – a lot – and it hasn’t stopped. In fact, one of the harshest critics may well be your self-critic.

Research suggests that kids with ADHD get an astounding 20,000 additional critiques by the time they are 12 when compared to neurotypical kids. And think about who they are hanging out with – parents, friends, teachers, coaches, family. People whom they trust. No wonder those with ADHD, and women in particular, internalize a message that they just don’t measure up.

I observe that virtually ALL adults with ADHD have suffered these emotional wounds. Women, in particular, suffer. As expert Sari Solden notes, ‘women with ADHD spend years being dismissed, discounted, told they are overreacting, oversensitive or ditzy. They worry about whether or not they will be good enough mothers, are too sloppy, don’t make dinner at the right time, don’t clean up well enough…it’s a huge burden.’

Moving away from self-judgment can be difficult, but it can be done. Look for inspiration from ADHD authors, from success stories, and from seeking ways to develop more self-compassion. This last might need some assistance from close friends, through meditation, reflection, journaling, or even a professional.

ADHD or not, woman, man, non-binary or any other way you identify…you are worthy of love and healing of those wounds. I’m sending you a hug.

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➤ ADHD and Women

Resources For those in relationships impacted by ADHD

SEMINARS, GROUPS:

ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - Is your relationship in trouble? My premier, highly acclaimed 9-session zoom seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships.

Non ADHD Partner Support Group (Registration will open on THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 29, 2024 at 12:00 PM ET) and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group - Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.

New: ADHD & Marriage Professional Training Program - an integrated team of experts dedicated to supporting the needs of couples and adults impacted by ADHD.

FREE RESOURCES:

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD;

Downloadable chapters of my books;

A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;

A large number of blog posts on various topics;

Referrals

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