It’s been a number of years since my husband and I almost divorced. What I remember most from that time, now, is how I felt. Alone. Angry. Hurt. Bitter. These feelings (and years of struggle) led me to behave in ways that made my husband feel as badly as I did. I also remember that one of the biggest breakthroughs in our recovery came when I finally realized that I could no longer feel good about making my husband feel awful. That I needed to behave in a way that made me feel proud of myself. Though I continued to express what I needed, I no longer nagged or yelled or belittled him. In other words, I decided it was no longer okay to make him feel bad.
He noticed. And, finally, he started listening to me about what I needed and wanted.
I think that Angelou is talking about just this type of experience – we are all responsible for behaving in a way that makes us feel good about ourselves, and does not make those we love more distressed. You don’t need to give up asking for what you want – only ask for it in a way that takes the feelings of those you love into account.
It’s been a number of years since my husband and I almost divorced. What I remember most from that time, now, is how I felt. Alone. Angry. Hurt. Bitter. These feelings (and years of struggle) led me to behave in ways that made my husband feel as badly as I did. I also remember that one of the biggest breakthroughs in our recovery came when I finally realized that I could no longer feel good about making my husband feel awful. That I needed to behave in a way that made me feel proud of myself. Though I continued to express what I needed, I no longer nagged or yelled or belittled him. In other words, I decided it was no longer okay to make him feel bad.
He noticed. And, finally, he started listening to me about what I needed and wanted.
I think that Angelou is talking about just this type of experience – we are all responsible for behaving in a way that makes us feel good about ourselves, and does not make those we love more distressed. You don’t need to give up asking for what you want – only ask for it in a way that takes the feelings of those you love into account.It’s been a number of years since my husband and I almost divorced. What I remember most from that time, now, is how I felt. Alone. Angry. Hurt. Bitter. These feelings (and years of struggle) led me to behave in ways that made my husband feel as badly as I did. I also remember that one of the biggest breakthroughs in our recovery came when I finally realized that I could no longer feel good about making my husband feel awful. That I needed to behave in a way that made me feel proud of myself. Though I continued to express what I needed, I no longer nagged or yelled or belittled him. In other words, I decided it was no longer okay to make him feel bad.
He noticed. And, finally, he started listening to me about what I needed and wanted.
I think that Angelou is talking about just this type of experience – we are all responsible for behaving in a way that makes us feel good about ourselves, and does not make those we love more distressed. You don’t need to give up asking for what you want – only ask for it in a way that takes the feelings of those you love into account. It’s been a number of years since my husband and I almost divorced. What I remember most from that time, now, is how I felt. Alone. Angry. Hurt. Bitter. These feelings (and years of struggle) led me to behave in ways that made my husband feel as badly as I did. I also remember that one of the biggest breakthroughs in our recovery came when I finally realized that I could no longer feel good about making my husband feel awful. That I needed to behave in a way that made me feel proud of myself. Though I continued to express what I needed, I no longer nagged or yelled or belittled him. In other words, I decided it was no longer okay to make him feel bad.
He noticed. And, finally, he started listening to me about what I needed and wanted.
I think that Angelou is talking about just this type of experience – we are all responsible for behaving in a way that makes us feel good about ourselves, and does not make those we love more distressed. You don’t need to give up asking for what you want – only ask for it in a way that takes the feelings of those you love into account.______________________________________________________________________________________
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