Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hello everyone,

Happy new year!

I hope you're all well and enjoying your day.

I am in an extremely difficult situation with my partner which is making me unwell as he refuses to understand that he may need some help.

Upon first meeting him 4 years ago there was various comments of difficulties at work, from small inconveniences to him reversing a truck backwards through a garage at the work yard. As it was a new relationship i didn't think much of it and to be honest most things were laughed off. 

But having read The ADHD Effect on Marriage as I imagine a lot of you have, I felt like someone was inside of my head, writing a book about my life. I guess right now, I'm just processing the best way I know how (written). 

It seems that therapy, medication, and books have done little to give me a spouse that treats me with respect and kindness. After tens of thousands of dollars of intervention and years of effort I just have nothing left.  How can anyone be happy living with a person who gobbles up all of the resources and sucks the air out of a room.

While I was in the shower, my wife and teenager got into an argument because the teen was not cleaning up a huge mess that had accumulated under the couch.  Our (nonbinary) teen started freaking out and yelling.

Does anyone else struggle to get their ADHD partner to celebrate them?

Mine has an aversion to gifts or doing anything nice for me. It's starting to ware on me after being together for so long (18 years of this!) I've really tried to adapt to his ways - but why can't he adapt to mine? I come from a family that celebrates birthdays - people have given me surprise parties in the past - I've given him parties even - I love to give gifts - to celebrate people!

On Sunday, we spent the morning visiting a Holocaust museum (an event organized by the synagogue.)  When that was over, my wife leaves to see a musical that one of her friends is in. While she was gone, I 

I've been married to a man with ADD for almost 40 years. You'd think by now we'd have got it together, but it never ends. I love him, he loves me. Years ago I thought that love, empathy and awareness coupled with some outside help would conquer all but, of course, I was wrong. For one thing, there's been no outside help. He won't do it.

How do you heal the pain and stop the intrusive thoughts... I have the understanding of what led to the affair, forgiveness and relationship repaired, but I still can't get rid of the pain and the thoughts... I just want to get rid of the pain and stop thinking about it.