Recent forum posts (all topics)

My wife has gotten a lot better in the last year or so with some of the aspects of her ADHD that were most problematic in our relationship, mainly since she got back on regular medication and we finally were able to have some (albeit very defensive) conversations about how ADHD was affecting things between us. But one thing that has not really budged at all is the nagging cycle we fall into. Here's how it goes..

Guess what happened. After years of begging him to get a new job that would pay him better (and let's face it, he has ADHD - he's probably gotten bored and complacent at that job and it's not going to get better.  He should be switching jobs more often, but instead he overstays his welcome and gets laid off.)   For the first time in our 27 years together, he updated his resume when he still had a job.   We will see if he actually applies to something.   I should be happy, but I'm kind of annoyed that I decided he would never change and I had to go and he changed.  And that's why we've been together for so long.  I decide that I've had enough and he switches gears.  But he never does it before it's too late.   We are now not putting groceries on credit cards and NOW he decides to get a new job? 

Why can't he do the right thing when things are bad?  Why?

Looking for a support group for non ADHD spouses.

Has anyone experienced a covert narcissist controlling and manipulating someone with ADD/ADHD(dx or ndx)?

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20+ years of marriage to an ADHD spouse who was just diagnosed about 3 years ago. We have 3 kids who are all teenagers now and still at home. My husband was unemployed for about 6 years and has been employed in a good job for a few years now. He is very smart, creative and talented, and his contributions at work are really appreciated. We have a lot of very typical dynamics in play in our marriage, most notably what I have seen termed the "pursuit-retreat" pattern. This pattern is typical for *anything* that is asked of him outside of his job.

Looking for support and information on how others had their Come to Jesus talk with the ADHD spouse. 

Lately I've been thinking about the partners in ADHD-affected relationships struggling to find their bearings.

Do both the ADHD partner and the non suffer so much from loss of orientation that it can end the relationship?

I seem to read all the time about two individuals who don't share a universe. One feels they are unappreciated and misunderstood and blamed without reason. The other that they are exhausting themselves without reward or effect and their partner behaves like a difficult child.

My long term boyfriend has untreated adhd and refuses to acknowledge it. We've been together for 6 years now but it's been a crazy rollercoaster. He has been unemployed for 4 of those years. He's been through homelessness which I tried to help him through in 2019. I got us an apartment and wanted to get him out of living in his car. But he was really aggressive and toxic when living together that I had to leave him and he moved back with his family. After I broke up with him he has refused to let go and contacted me every single day through email.