Recent forum posts (all topics)

We are homeowners.  Things need repair.

Can the very intelligent man that is my husband stop suggesting that his young sons (who of course have no repair experience) fix the problem, without his help or direction?  

Just had to tell the people who understand the things that are said and done to avoid the boring tasks that adhd brains don't enjoy.  

I just wanted to say that I still read up on posts on the forum and that for anyone wondering what its like a year after the parting .. this is my second Christmas alone. 

Although I've been seeing a therapist for the last 8 years, and have worked on processing everything that took place during 30 years with My severe adhd ex, it's still hard to deal with sometimes and it still affects me and my thought process.

I can say that I have peace, peace of mind, and some acceptance of certain things, but I must say that it's really hard to mentally let go of some things. And I still deal with the problem of catching myself wondering, out of 30 years, what was real and what wasn't. I can't say if I will ever completely get over all of it, and move on without it affecting me,  my life, and how I see others.

I'm really grateful that this forum exists, and it's like a shoulder to lean on even if it's just to read what others have gone through or are going through. 

I hope everyone is have a great day, a Merry Christmas, and has an even better New Year.

I am looking for some advice. My ADHD partner treats me badly and when I ask that she checks her tone before she speaks to me, I am met with silence, cold shoulder and sheer distension towards me. Her words are harsh, rude, short, often aggressive and cause me to retreat for my own Mental health and wellbeing. Since her diagnosis, every little thing is about ADHD and it often feels like because of her diagnosis, she has a free pass to speak and treat me however she wants to. I don't know how to love her anymore.

I was meaning to write this over a week and half ago and my own challenges kept me from doing so - as the non-ADHDers, you know the one I'm talking about: when something good happens, it's really hard to celebrate it bc you know something disappointing is right around the corner. But I thought to myself just now, 'just write the good thing anyways as this might help you and someone else to see that there CAN be joys in this type of marriage'. 

My ADHD husband is 58, recently diagnosed and now medicated with no improvement, only worse.  I have already taken the decision to end the marriage but we have to live together until financials are sorted out.

He has told me within the last 6 months that he has had suicidal thoughts for most of his life (I was unaware of this) and last Christmas said to me "was I trying to get him to hurt me" and "are you trying to get me to kill myself".  I appreciate this type of language is making him appear that his actions are the fault of someone else, like it's not him it's me (gaslighting) but the problem is that he is saying about killing himself to other people too, more that he has suicidal thoughts.  When he does this they think that they are the only person he has shared this with whereas in reality, he says it to anyone that he has even a superficial friendship with.  

My main concern is for the people he draws into this because they feel very burdened with this information and try to then give more time to him, one of the people has recently become a father for the second time and has many new commitments to think about and because they feel they are the only people with this knowledge, they feel they have a responsibility towards him which I feel is unreasonable of him.  I honestly do not believe my husband has any intention of committing suicide, his doctor is aware and it has been on record apparently since he was a teenager but when I asked him if he had ever tried to kill himself, he said no.  

I wandered if anyone else had any experience of this and could give me some advice on how best to handle it and what to tell him when he seems to want to draw others into this.

if I genuinely thought there was a risk to him and he had the intention of doing this, I would immediately seek medical help.  I honestly believe it's just something he's saying.

I am seeking healthier ways to handle my ADHD partners frustration. His frustration tolerance is especially low after work, even with a "booster." His tone with me is often frustrated. It's something he struggles with in his family of origin with his sisters and past coworkers as well. He's worked on it and his work situation is actually quite healthy now but we are struggling at home. I'm going through my own health issues and having peri menopausal rage at times that I'm working on.

Drives me up the wall.... She just will not sit still.

It can be 11pm at night and she'll pop up and decided xyz needs to be done. Never chills out ever.

I work all day and evenings want to relax. Not see her rushing around in the kitchen, living room. Watching TV is out because shes back and fore and wont sit down.

What to do? I've tried to ignore but its stressing me out.

I just wanted to thank all of you who have posted about your life and your struggles on this forum. Your stories have helped me to make the decision to divorce my husband.