Recent forum posts (all topics)

50 years old, just diagnosed less than a year ago. Financially stable, career stable, a little impulsive, but very internally hyperactive. Only been married a short time. I'm in my third ADHD and relationships book. 2 by Orlov. I've read all of them. She will not. It's a me problem, not an us problem. 

I'm tired of the backhanded or just out right derogatory comments. The, and I quote "Let me tell you why you're wrong. "

The rejection and withholding of affection. The gaslighting. The I'm never right she's never wrong. 

It's exhausting and I'm overwhelmed. 

Can't cope with the constantly changing plan

Today for the first time after divorce I had to rescue a situation where my ADD ex-partner had slipped on his responsibilities. Child came to me late Sunday evening. My child was unprepared for the upcoming week's school assignments and lacked necessary equipment. Stress set in since the situation was not entirely beyond repair, but almost.

I saved it, to the cost of rising early Monday after having worked an evening shift, child's disappointment and tears, and having to spend my day off sorting it out. But it was interesting to see what the ADD slip did to me physically. 

I've spent hours reading posts on  this forum, like everyone else, your stories of ADD H, could be mine. Just recently realised that ADD is what is going on with H, after our son was diagnosed a year ago. Could never explain H's behaviours, always knew something was different but due to his being a rather avoidant and passive person who doesn't have the anger issues (well external anyway, have since realised he has successfully internalised it into passive aggression), but soon after marriage everything went downhill.

Trying to find techniques or tips on how to deal with a ruminating partner who has shut down emotionally.

Gone from a 20 hr a week job to deciding to do a full time one....

Trouble is shes been regularly doing 10 hour days for 7 days a week. No extra pay. I'm sure her employer thinks shes the best employee ever!

Trouble is I can see her getting tireder and tireder. I just know its all going to implode one way or another. I'm guessing its the ADHD thing where shes got no stop or switch off button?

Its a fairly flexible job where the hours are up to you. I'm sure shes convinced shes not done enough work so I do try to show her but sure she doesn't believe me.

Any suggestions?

Am I the only who REALLY struggles with this?

It is honestly trying to deal with a teenager who just cannot be bothered to organise their life. I rarely go out - next week I've got one night where I'm out.

So I put it in her outlook calendar. Nope she booked work the same evening. Then its my fault then for not reminding her.....

I know people say leave the other person alone let them deal with consequences but its things like this.....

Everyone who has browsed the forums a little will have already noticed that there are countless realistic reports of situations that led to the end of the relationship. I believe there is a lot in common in all of them. But would it be possible to open a topic just with suggestions from those who have had real success in their relationships? I'm looking for suggestions on how to make the partner realize the extent of the problem for the marriage (he knows he has ADHD, but is unaware of the impact on the marriage).

So I'm not sure if this is the right forum as I've just been diagnosed ADHD myself. First this made it even harder to understand my relationship. My partner has bedtime revenge issues causing sleep loss and morning rage. I do not because I've known since I was a teen I need loads of sleep. He uses his powers of perception to tell others (inc me) what is wrong with them. I use mine for empathy. My partner has no friends. I have dozens inc ten or so very close friends. My partner parents his kids permissively and impulsively. I was a Gina Ford mama and I'm authoritative.

My husband was diagnosed with ADHD this year, we have two young children and the fights have become increasingly constant. I don't know how to deal with the situation anymore, because I feel exhausted. I would really like him to seek treatment and objective tools for everyday life. He started therapy last year, after many requests from me, but this year he hasn't returned and isn't receptive to any help.