Recent forum posts (all topics)

My ADHD partner and I both recently bought over the ear headphones.

So I got an email from my abusive ex after not hearing from him for over 3 years. He is right where he was previously with no apparent ability to move on. He first sent me a video of a romantic song, then launched into a tirade of how I am a monster who betrayed him by leaving, ruined him financially, and turned him away from seeking relationships with other women. He said I have a "pattern" of leaving relationships "after only 10-12 years because he knew my marriage lasted 12 years and I dumped him after 11 years. Yep, it's still all my fault, according to him, that he's still alone and broke without a job. 

Just read, or rather, listened to the book because I also have dyslexia and am enthusiastic about getting diagnosed and finally getting help although my wife doesn't share my enthusiasm because I've caused so much harm to our relationship.

I first joined this group 8 years ago, searching for answers about why my relationship with my husband was so confusing, painful, and complicated. I found this group to be a lovely resource, but it still didn't feel like it fully explained what was going on with my marriage. A year after I joined this site, I packed up my children and left my husband. A year after that (he had vowed he had changed), we got back together and had another baby. Three years after that, I realized my heart was too broken, nothing had really changed, and I left again, but this time for good.

ADHD partner here - first of all I want to acknowledge that every ADHD marriage will be different, so I don't claim to speak on behalf of your ADHD partners/ex partners - I'm just concerned for my own non-ADHD partner and I'm not really sure how to address it.

Essentially it feels to me like she thinks she has to save everyone else from their chaos - because no one else will, but that this is an expectation she puts on herself, not something I feel like everybody else actually wants her to do (especially not if they saw how it was affecting her)

Hello everyone, possible ADHD spouse here. My wife and I met at the end of our teen years, met on Myspace, from similar places, know the same people and we fell in love. Per the book she fell in love with the un-diagnosed ADHD spontaneous, quirky, funny, loving guy who would give her an amazing/rough 16yrs like many ADHD and NON relationships. Financially we were never too far from the edge, having kids a 6 years after meeting one another meant I would raise them in the morning then work nights.

I've noticed a lot of talk about ADHDers being "self absorbed" which to be honest, really surprised me - having connected with lots of other ADHDers over the last year or so, the general vibe is that they make up some of the most empathetic, supportive, self-sacrificing groups of people I've ever known.

It's fine if this is the case, I've personally benefitted massively from peer to peer support with other ADHDers, I know how incredible it can feel to be understood by people who've experienced your struggles, and I don't doubt that anyone married to an ADHD spouse has had more than their fair share of struggles. I ask mainly just for clarity

Emotional abuse may be the least recognizable (by others) form of spousal abuse...Putting it simply, it's the product of a person filling a vowed space in another person's life, w/ little to no concern for the needs of that person...It's total emotionless apathy...It's laziness and indifference toward their God given spousal responsibilities...People who are capable of this level of indifference or usually blindly self centered...When a mind is so dominated by "Me" thinking, that mind will never be fit for a healthy relationship that will always require awareness, and an ability to put, and