Hello; My fiance and I have gone our separate ways. I am harboring so much anger because of the past 8 years together, engaged for almost 3 years. We called our wedding off 3 months before the wedding as my fiance was just diagnosed ADHD and possibly bipolar. We both agreed that seeking help for his health superceded a wedding.
The issue between us is his house. We do not live together but his house is an unfinished renovation project and it is a mess. I've done some ADHD research and I understand that with grandiose undertakings comes a ton of responsibilities which can fall to the wayside. I think we have ended up in a codependent relationship where he puts my needs before his needs and vice versa. His needs of getting organized to complete his house have continually been neglected and I find that his house holds so much power over our relationship. His house has been like this even before I met him so there have been a decade or more of missed opportunities to take steps to finish.
I guess I'm angry because I feel cheated of all the hopes and dreams and goals we had talked about and angry because of the power that this neurological disorder as well as his house has over our relationship. My fiance is on medication but he is still struggling to finish his house. And I feel so guilty as in should I have hung on to the hope that he would finish his house so we could have then moved forward with rebooting our wedding and all the other plans and dreams we had. I am so crushed and I feel like there has been a death.
